Numinous, Masculine Sexuality, part 1 - Awakening my sacred masculine

Welcome the first part of metaphor 6 on my journey through the book "The Hidden Spirituality of Men - Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine" by Matthew Fox. If this is your first time reading my blog you might want to at least read the initial post on the book. You can also check out other posts in the series. Beyond that, read on. Here it is, the metaphor on sexuality. This metaphor was the most confronting to start reading. I put it off both subconsciously and consciously for about 2 weeks. At the same time, masculine sexual energy is a major reason I started looking into the men's studies movement. As a father of two boys, I kept questioning whether or not I would know how to speak powerfully to them about sex when the time comes.

Being raised in an all (powerful) female household I really never had a male figure I trusted to discuss these things with and I was already ashamed about how other men treated women. Initially, the question of masculine sexuality pulled me on this journey through the sacred masculine and I was afraid of this metaphor the most ( my ego was definitely shaking in its boots ). [ad#Google Adsense] When I finally read the chapter, I breezed through it and got a lot of information. I felt much more comfortable and saw the bigger picture of the sacredness of sexuality. When I reread it before writing this article I noticed how much I missed. Realizing that my subconscious probably zoned out on the first pass, I made an effort to take in the information inside this book.

I feel I must say one thing before moving on. This article is about sexuality as it concerns the sacred masculine. It is meant as a serious spiritual discussion. Watch where you find yourself giggling as that is where you are probably missing out sacrament of sex. Read on if you are ready.

Masculine Sexuality, Numinous Sexuality

In order to best stay true to what I got from this metaphor I will be following the sections of the chapter and use those headings. One distinction is very important for this metaphor - the distinction between spirituality and religion in regards to sexuality. Long before the religions of today, people treated sex as a spiritual experience. Many current religions treat sex as a sin.

"Our Western institutional religious tradition has essentially repressed and distorted the sexual instinct and thereby created a variety of personal and social pathologies. In doing so it has also effectively removed sexuality from its religious foundations."

Also keep in mind that

"...for most people the experience of sex is more powerful than their experience of religion."

This must be because during sex we are making a strong connection to the sacred and during religious ceremonies we may be holding some of the spiritual energies back. [ad#Books Banner]

Ancient Sacred Metaphors of Sexuality

There are ancient temples that still exist that obviously worship the male phallus. Because they still exist people get a sense of the awe. In this space of awe one has the ability to experience joy and pleasure through intercourse and other forms of sex. What must it be like to worship masculine sexual energy without shame?

Sexuality and Shame:A Western Inheritance

I've written before how much of being a man can be summed up in one word, shame. When it comes to sex it is felt by the truckload. I've grown up in the Western world where sex is considered dirty ( and that being dirty is a bad thing ). While it is generally considered okay for men to want sex, only the hunt is really accepted. The act itself, the connection to ones partner and to the universe are not given their due. As such men's stories about sex are about quantity and/or domination rather than quality and connectedness. If a man does talk about the spirituality of sex people often don't listen or if they do they believe the man to be boasting about prowess. [ad#Google Adsense] Yes, having fun with sex, enjoying it is even worse in Western culture. Which brings up another issue, roleplaying. In western culture there is some of this that occurs, but even it gets perverted to the point that the roleplaying is not used for connectedness but to create more separation. A separation between the people involved and a separation from the full experience of it. Roleplaying isn't just about wearing costumes, though that can be part of it. Its about having fun with your partner and looking for new experiences together. Its important to switch roles occasionally. Switch who's on top and who's on bottom ( both physically and metaphorically ) to make sure both people get the full experience. Passion equals play, so to keep the spark going have some fun together.

The Many Names of Sexuality

I've used the word sexuality so many times that you may have thought I was only talking about sex. There are many other names used in the book and I would like to share a few that you may not be thinking of.

• Union
• Laughter
• Joy
• Surrender
• Healing
• The Sacred Masculine
• The Divine Feminine
• Hope
• Creativity
• Music

This list is less extensive than what is in the book. In the book they also add the point that you can most likely add more of your own. So as we discuss sexuality realize that we are discussing so much more than intercourse. [ad#Books Banner]

The Lover's Revelation

Did you know that the Bible devotes and entire book to praising sexual love as divine? I didn't but the author mentioned time and again that Song of Songs does just that. Despite my less than biblical path to spirituality, I'm intrigued to see what it says.

Religions around the world have spent some if not a lot of time discussing divinity of sexual love. Why? What do we get from it? As you look closely you see that we get more than we thought. There is the connected to another person, the connectedness to the universe. I've heard a comic describe how sex is weird because a man (who usually focuses on one thing) has to focus on many things at once and a woman (who usually splits focus between many things ) has to focus on one thing. This is funny because of the truth in it ( and he had much better delivery than my writing ). It shows that through sexual love we also gain perspective.

As one studies the power of numinous sexuality one also sees the importance of mutuality. Sexual energy is shared when used positively. This also lets us see a little of the shadow energies most often associated with (masculine) sexuality. The shadow energy of sexuality comes out as domination instead of mutual physical love. Some of this shadow energy comes because of the repression of sexuality in our culture. It is such a powerful part of our spirits that it will come out. That is why it is important to embrace what it truly is so that it can flow powerfully.

Intermission

These sacred masculine posts are growing quite long, and in order to give this one enough time I am breaking it up into two parts. Part two of Numinous Masculine Sexuality will cover sperm, male infertility, sexual diversity, what heterosexuals can learn from homesexuals and how to approach sexuality as sacred. Until next week, what sorts of thoughts did this article spark for you in the realm of sacred sexuality? Does any of this ring true for you or do you think I'm barking up the wrong tree? Please leave your comments below or send a private message through this blog's contact page. [ad#Google Adsense] If you liked this post please subscribe to my RSS Feed and/or follow me on Twitter. If you only want to read my Wednesday Warrior posts subscribe to the Wednesday Warrior feed. Until next time, thanks for reading.

Awakening my sacred masculine - The Green Man

This post is about the 2nd metaphor and follow up to my post about The Hidden Spirituality of Men - Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine.  In that original post I said I would share my journey of reading this book.  This is another part of that journey. The Green Man

In mens' studies the Green Man is easily seen through the story of Iron John.  In spirituality there are many different stories and references to the green man.  Where modern man tries to control nature, the green man works with nature.  He is one with nature to the point that some stories make the green man out to BE nature.  The green man is a steward who cares for mother earth and knows that she will take care of him in return. [ad#Google Adsense] As a member of the Green Party, I have already begun to explore my Green Man.  However, even that is pretty recent and I've always been more of a tech guy so there is quite a bit of room for spiritual growth for me in this area.  For me this metaphor pulls me to my native heritage that I have ignored for too long.  It reminded me of how touched I was when I read Brother Eagle, Sister Sky to my sons.  It is a story based around a message from Chief Seattle before he agreed to "sell" land to the US.  The whole message is great but the end sums it up well:

So if we sell you our land, love it as we've loved it. Care for it as we’ve cared for it. Hold in your mind the memory of the land as it is when you take it. And with all your strength, with all your mind, with all your heart, preserve it for your children. and love it . . . as God loves us all.

One thing we know. Our God is the same God. This earth is precious to him. Even the white man cannot be exempt from the common destiny. We may be brothers after all. We shall see.

With that in mind I found a way to get closer to my green man - running.  I have never been a runner.  I have started and stopped a few times. This chapter gave me something else to focus on while I run.  Something I have read from many sources.  So I started running with the couch to 5k (c25k) program.  I did indeed get closer to the earth as I ran.  I reveled in the calm mornings where I could marvel at natures bounty around me.  However this also connected me to Father Sky - something unexpected.  Father Sky and Mother Earth stories often tell that they were connected by a tree that was cut down at some point.  As I ran I would find myself following the trees up to the sky.  Then of course, breathing is so important when running and air the the domain of Father Sky.  Running also has me more connected my body as I run and the way it feels as a result.  The cosmic body is another metaphor that I will cover in another post.  To top it all off, the time I spend running is time to ponder the thoughts of what I have recently read.

Beyond just connecting, I have paid more attention to the events of the day.  I've begun questioning how much I limit my involvement in anything that affects our planet.  Little by little I have been checking myself to make sure I am fighting for what I believe in rather than stand by and do nothing.  I am reminded of something I heard during the 2008 election season,"To know and to not act is not to know."  I'm starting to understand the reality of that statement now.  It is the value of a spiritual warrior - another metaphor to be discussed in a later post.  The Green Man has been the seed that has sprouted and grown towards other spiritual masculine metaphors.

I have now read all 10 metaphors from the book and I am going to focus on writing a post on each of the metaphors before going on the the the part of the book.  The next part of the book is about sacred marriages - connections of the sacred masculine and the divine feminine.  I'm looking forward to those discussion as well so I should be making posts fairly quickly.

Awakening my sacred masculine - a powerful dream.

I've always approached my study of masculinity as a journey.  Many visions occur to me every time I read a men's studies book.  Some are dark and others are mysterious.  Either way these visions are powerful and often come in a dream.  Reading "The Hidden Spirituality of Men – Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine" has been no different.  Last night I had a dream that I knew was part of my journey.

The dream and the conclusions I come to are related to chapters I have not discussed yet.  I will try to share enough to explain the references.

The following dream actually came on a night when I fell asleep attempting to connect with "The Blue Man" metaphor described in the book. The dream is simple - I'm in charge of an alternative school of some sort that is being shut down by someone who has sent in soldiers to apprehend me. At this point I have the thought that if I can just get in a room and close the door they won't be able to get to me. I make my way down the hall towards my office. Finally, I reached my office and closed the door. Feeling safe from the soldiers, I look out the window. All the parents and teachers are standing outside in a group. They are standing in support of the school and me. They may be singing but I don't really hear anything. At this point my wife asks me the question,"Why are they shutting down the school?" My answer was this,"because Michael Jackson is running the music department and my second in command/right hand man is a woman or maybe I should say my right hand woman is a man." (I was trying to say my second is command was a gay man).

I don't remember anything else after that. When I woke up I just knew it was an important dream. I started wondering if I needed to open up some type of school.

After my run this morning I had a chance to discuss the dream with my wife and as I did many things became clear.  This dream did not say I needed to run a school but it was full of metaphors directly related to chapters of the book I had recently read.  First, the soldiers.  There is a distinction in the chapter on Spiritual Warriors between soldiers and warriors.  Soldiers do what they are ordered to do and warriors are instead guided by their values and their hearts.  The fact that soldiers were doing what they were ordered to do but did not have the heart to break through a simple door is not suprising.  Then there is group of parents and teachers who were standing up for me and the school.  This is my community, who are a stand for me to succeed in running my school.  My school is men's studies and Daryl Joseph Ducharme studies for that matter.  Seeing my blue man, I was studying the difference I could create in the world.

Then we come to the reason's anyone would want to shut such an important school down.  First there is having Michael Jackson as the musical director.  One chapter on the body began to discuss chakras.  The first chakra, located in the tailbone ( called the sacrum which literally means sacred bone ) is about vibration.  In discussing this chakra the sub chakras in the knees and the feet were discussed.  This brought up the importance of dance in connecting with Gaia.  So many religions throughout time relate dance with the sacred.  For my generation there was none more recognized for dance than Michael.  In fact, he was in my mind throughout the discussion about dance.  What about my second in command they didn't like because he was gay?  That came directly from the chapter on numinous sexuality.  In the middle section of this long chapter the discussion revolved around the spiritual connections that homosexuals tend to have.  In fact, many native tribes revered homesexuals as spiritual leaders.  While I have never considered myself homophobic, I realized there was a part of me that was.  It was the part that decides I didn't want to do something because maybe I didn't think it was masculine enough.  By cutting myself off from these experiences I cut myself off from the sacred and the spiritual essence of my masculinity.  Well no more.  Now I will allow myself to have experiences that will have me live life.

This dream was an awesome experience.  In the past, I have had dreams related to whatever ontological journey I was currently undergoing.  Almost always they have had a very dark nature to them.  This dream, while it had a dark nature, gave me more hope than any of the dreams I have had in the past.  It inspired me.  As I delve into the chapters that this dream touched on I will discuss these references even more.  I had to get the dream down while I still remembered it.

Awakening my sacred masculine - Father Sky

This post is my first follow up to my post about The Hidden Spirituality of Men - Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine.  In that previous post I said I would share my journey of reading this book.  This is part of that journey. The book itself is split up into 2 parts.  The first part, Ten Archetypes of Authentic Masculinity, covers the 10 metaphors alluded to in the book's title.  As I read this part of the book I will be making a posts related to each metaphor.  These posts won't be reviews of the chapters as much as they will be my own personal visions and conclusions gained from reading the metaphors.  At this time I have already read the sections on the first 5 metaphors so I may relate to some of the other metaphors.  This is expected, as these metaphors of masculinity are strongly linked.

Father Sky: The Cosmos Lives!

Father Sky is the partner of Mother Earth.  Religions have often placed the sky ( or heavens ) as the home to the gods.  Father sky is the air we breathe and the vacuum of space that is the universe beyond our planet's atmosphere.  Father sky is an obvious, but in modern times elusive, spiritual metaphor.

This first chapter didn't call to me as much from just reading it.  There was one suggested made in the chapter that I took, and that was to take a look at the Worldwide Telescope by Microsoft Research. This website has an tool ( both online and downloadable ) that combines images and data from telescopes around the world to give you an amazing view of space.  I spent a good chunk of time just looking around at all the different heavenly bodies available to me through this tool.

After using the worldwide telescope, I had a greater connection to father sky in the rest of my daily lives.  I recently started a running program, called Couch to 5K (C25K) out of both a desire to run and have a greater connection the The Green Man ( the 2nd metaphor ).  On my first run, I got connected more with my green man but I feel that I could finally see father sky.  I run in the mornings and the moon was still in the sky.  Instead of running with my head down, my head was up and I was aware of all the trees which reach up to connect the earth to the sky and the birds as they soar.  As I type this, I think I will pay more attention to my breathing while running as well.  After all, father sky represents all that is in the sky including the air.

This chapter also reminded me of something I remember seeing in the past.  I remember that a native tribe in Washington had been given the right to punish a teen through their own traditions.  This meant putting him, alone, on a small island for a length of time.  One of the elders was talking to him about praying.  He told him not to bow down and avert his eyes from the spirits above, instead he should look up and open his arms to father sky so that he may be connected to him.

The first metaphor, by itself did not make as big of an impression on me as some of the others already have.  However, in connecting with father sky I have gained connections that I have not had in a long time.  I once again look at the sky with awe.  The stars and the planets, the clouds and wind are all a part of me again.  In a world that tries to keep us grounded it is important to stay connected with the stars.

The next metaphor is The Green Man.  As I have already read that chapter I will be writing that one soon.  Until then, what does father sky mean to you and/or the men in your life?