Grandfather Sky: The Grandfatherly Heart - awakening my sacred masculine

Finally, we have reached the 10th metaphor in Matthew Fox's book The Hidden Spiruality of Men - Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine. As a man who is a father but not a grandfather I wondered what I would be able to get out of this metaphor. As I am writing these blog posts with the hopes that I can help others, what can someone who is neither a grandfather or even a father get from this metaphor. For my second reading of this metaphor though, I did get something out of for myself and hopefully for others. We have already had a few father metaphors, what is Grandfather Sky and how is it different?

The Grandfatherly Heart

Grandfather Sky, the grandfatherly heart, isn't that different in relationship to the father metaphors than the relationship between grandfathers and fathers ( and sons for that matter ). Grandfather Sky is the father metaphors at new stage of life. Where the father metaphors are still about providing for family and community through (great) work, Grandfather sky is about providing for family and community through wisdom.

Beyond just sharing its own wisdom, the Grandfatherly Heart is also about taking in the wisdom of youth - be that the sons or be that the fathers. The Grandfatherly Heart knows enough to know that there is much he doesn't know. Thus, Grandfather Sky, learns from youth as much as they teach the youth.

My Own Experiences

In reading this chapter again I remember a conversation I had with my step-father in law regarding his relationship with my sons. I couldn't ask for a better grandfather figure in my sons' lives than him and I was telling him how much I appreciate him. He D'Artagnan and Draegan so much time and I know when I come home I often don't have the focus or energy to give the same amount of myself to them as he does. He just smiled and told me it was the same for him with his kids. He reminded me, I have to drum up the energy every day and he only has to do it when we come to visit. His energy, his heart is not only a gift to my sons but it is a gift to me as well.

Then there are the projects. Both my step father in law and father in law spend time doing projects with my kids. Often woodworking projects, something they are both good at and I have no experience in. I so appreciate their passing down of wisdom to the boys. That is the Grandfatherly Heart giving freely, not so much wisdom, but love of a craft.

My Inner Grandfather

Rather than wait the many years until I, possibly, become a literal grandfather I decided to take a look at what this metaphor means for me right now. Often the modern versions of the father looks at their actual work as the way they define themselves. The grandfather, on the other hand, now looks at their family, their communities and their contributions as the way they define themselves. There is also the difference in relationship to death. The grandfatherly heart is much more aware of death, and accepting of it. It is, after all, a natural part of life and they know enough to see it for what it is. In this way Grandfather Sky is connected to the Hunter-Gatherer who just sees death as and extremely natural part of life. In a recent national geographic article on the Hazda, they have only begun to bury their dead in recent decades after pressure from governments. Instead they just let nature take its course. It takes a bit for my modern mind to even deal with that - even though it makes perfect sense. [ad#Google Adsense] If you liked this post please subscribe to myRSS Feed and/or follow me on Twitter. If you only want to read my Wednesday Warrior posts subscribe to the Wednesday Warrior feed. Until next time, thanks for reading.

Earth Father - awakening my sacred masculine

The 9th metaphor in the book The Hidden Spiruality of Men - Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine is titled earth father. For me my journey into men's studies and down the spiritual path of the sacred masculine comes from asking questions about being a father. In my first post on numinous masculine sexuality I discussed how sexuality and questioning how to raise 2 boys to not be ashamed of sex like I was (and still am somewhat) was a major catalyst for this exploration. Between my first steps, in the book Fire in The Belly and currently these Wednesday Warrior posts I focused on much more of what it means to be masculine and that has guided me quite well on my fatherhood journey.

Earth Father - sacred masculine central

Fatherhood is central to the sacred masculine. From this book alone you can see how it is linked to each of the other 9 metaphors:

• Father Sky - Also a father metaphor, father sky is more distant than the Earth Father. One must not forget the importance of solitude and space in masculinity/fatherhood which Father Sky provides.
• The Green Man - This one is linked as another earth metaphor. Earth Father is grounded, much like the Green Man. Being a good steward of our planet is a great way to provide for our children and our children's children.
• Icarus and Daedalus - Another father metaphor, or a rather a parable to learn from. Fathers must not only be willing to teach their children, but learn from them as well.
• Hunter-Gatherers - In modern society this is hard to see. Where are the rites of passage from boyhood to manhood ? How can we as men create the important psychological and spiritual aspects of these for our children?
• Spiritual Warriors - As a father, what do we fight for? What do we value? We reap what we sow in regards to the Spiritual Warrior's connection to the Earth Father. We must lead by example.
• Masculine Sexuality, Numinous Sexuality - I do not want my sons to learn that sex = shame. I want them to be powerful individuals in all aspects of their lives.
• Our Cosmic and Animal Bodies - As fathers how do we take care of our bodies? Our children's? Once again, leading by example has us teach our children respect for themselves.
• The Blue Man - In all the trials and tribulations of fathering, there must be compassion, there must be a loving heart.
• Grandfather Sky:The Grandfatherly Heart - The father begets the grandfather, 'nuff said :)

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Earth Father - not just for fathers

While the earth father and fathering are central to the sacred masculine they do not refer only to literal fatherhood. Literal fatherhood is just the most obvious place to access it. In a post ( or two ) on my old blog I discussed Mr. Miyagi from the Karate Kid. No one would say that there is not an earth father being portrayed in those films and yet he is not a literal father. A powerful force, the mentor. The mentor spreads earth father energy out into the community. Perhaps you have a memory of a teacher that became your mentor at one point. They are out there and you can be one too. It doesn't take much but time and caring, but mostly caring.

Paternal energy doesn't stop with men either. The earth father's paternal energy can be tapped into by women ( and is ) in the same way that men can tap into the earth mother's maternal energy. A literal father and literal mother both tap into paternal and maternal energies, it takes both to raise a child.

Being a stand for the community

The Earth Father takes a look at the world he is leaving for his children, and his children's children, and strives to make it the best he can make it for them. To do this he must stand for his community and in his community. Helping others and helping the environment are the keys. For a while I've been wondering if I could find a mens group in my area. Recently I've actually thought about the possibility of actually being the one to create a mens group in my area for this very reason. By being a stand for those around us to be great, we get to live in greatness.

These are of course my take on earth father energies. I'd love to hear others. Perhaps you aren't a literal father and have a take on it. Maybe you are a grandfather who has reach the next level of fatherhood. Maybe you are a woman reading this and care to share with us your perspective. Whatever your view I'd love to hear it in the comments. Of course, keep in mind that I barely touch the topic and this is a great book to read yourself as you will most likely get something else out of it than I.

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The Blue Man - Awakening my Sacred Masculine

The eight metaphor in The Hidden Spirituality of Men - Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine is The Blue Man. The words alone might make you think of the Blue Man Group. Other than Intel commercials I don't really know much about them, but maybe there is something to their bright blue  faces. The first time I read this chapter I noticed how the metaphor itself comes from meditation induced visions of a blue man that represented strong spiritual imagery. Inspired I did a limited, but purposeful, meditation on the Blue Man as I drifted off to dream land. It was then that I had a powerful dream which I covered in an earlier blog post. I was looking forward to rereading this chapter and seeing if, once again, I would have a dream of significance.

What is the Blue Man?

The Blue Man, as I said before comes from two different stories. One of Swami Muktananda and the other of Hildegard of Bingen. Both tell of being in some meditative or prayer state and seeing a vision of a man in blue or a man bathed in sapphire light. To them the man represented God and all things it was pure love and compassion. Not only was it God in all things but it was God in them while at the same time being themselves in God.

When I originally read this metaphor and pondered what it was saying, my Western mind that has been surrounded by Christianity went to the concept of Jesus as Christ. As a devout agnostic who has often bordered on atheistic beliefs I made a jump that many Christians might find uncomfortable. Could it be that Jesus, instead of being the son of God and God itself was really just a normal person who took on embodying the blue man. From that thought I jumped to prophets from other religions as well, they all could be blue men and the rest of us are so deaf to our own divinity they look like Gods to us. When I reread the chapter I saw that the author said as much in his own writing .

Expanding our Consciousness

If the Blue Man is God in all things, God inside of us and in turn ourselves in God, every thing in God then a whole new world opens up to us. We can look at all the crisis in the world without being overwhelmed. We can instead look and see opportunities to make a difference in the world and for others. What may start as anger can be honed by our compassion and turned into positive action. [ad#Books Banner]

The Blue Man and The Spiritual Warrior

In my post about The Spiritual Warrior I brought up the topic of a great work several times. What I never really touched on, probably because I needed to reread this chapter to understand, is where does the warrior come up with his great work? The Blue Man is the answer. The Blue Man is a creative energy that can take a man's anger and mix it with compassion to come up with a path for the warrior to walk. In the book, the author used the examples of Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr. to show how they took their anger, wrapped it in compassion and made social art.

The Blue Man as an artist

The Blue Man is an artist. In the examples of Gandhi and King he is an artist that creates divine works which positively impact society. All art can do that, and for some who think they are not artists the first step is finding their artistic voice. Through the practice of speaking through art a man can find and strengthen his voice. As he gets stronger that voice can make a difference in somebody's life. Perhaps this is where the Blue Man Group got the inspiration for the name of their troop. A voice without words, only art.

Just Add Compassion

I can't stress enough the value of compassion in my own spiritual journey through this book thus far. It has improved the quality of my personal relationships - with my wife, my two boys, my family, my friends and my coworkers. When I have seen a problem, usually in my own communication with others, I've been reminded to add compassion and things have become easy. Compassion has me give up my need to be right or sometimes, when I have a little compassion for myself, it has me be more joyful.

The Blue Man is all about compassion. It is almost as if he is there asking, "How can you be more compassionate?" Christian's might ask, "What would Jesus Do?" After all, Jesus was a Blue Man or at least I think so. Making a difference with compassion has you let go of being right and making others wrong so that you can actually connect with people and not only make a difference but and impact. Perhaps the people you touch will take some of that compassion with them.

Conclusion

So far, I haven't had another significant dream or vision as I've reread this chapter. However, I have only re-finished it tonight so if an epiphany comes I will be sure to share it with you in the morning. But I would like to hear about you. Have you had any visions that you might relate to The Blue Man? If so, what was it like? Was the color blue prominent and/or powerful in the vision? I would love to hear about other's visions as they seek out The Blue Man. After all, it is the end of a decade and the beginning of a new one - what a great time to have a vision to live into. [ad#Google Adsense] If you liked this post please subscribe to myRSS Feed and/or follow me on Twitter. If you only want to read my Wednesday Warrior posts subscribe to the Wednesday Warrior feed. Until next time, thanks for reading.

Our Cosmic and Animal Bodies - Awakening my Sacred Masculine

For this week's Wednesday Warrior post I will be taking you along on my journey through the 7th metaphor from the book The Hidden Spirituality of Men - Then Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine by Matthew Fox. The 7th metaphor is titles "Our Cosmic and Animal Bodies" it discusses how we are all made of star stuff and other cool stuff about the body. It discusses the importance of respecting our bodies animal nature. Also discussed are exercise and food from a different perspective than you have probably heard in a long time, if ever. As a spiritual journey we do talk about our bodies chakras. As we see some all these amazing aspects of our spiritual bodies me may see an imbalance in your body awareness. This chapter and journey will also discuss recovering that awareness.

The Amazing Human Body

Scientifically speaking ( and sounding rather spiritual ) our bodies are made of star stuff! ( See the video at the end for a tribute to this statement ). Throughout our lives we probably hear all sorts of amazing facts about our bodies, from how many times our heart beats, to the strength of our bones, to the amazing control our brain can have over our body. Even with this information we still, most likely, go throughout our day without giving its fascinating abilities and nature a second thought. The fact that we don't have to think about it is really just more proof as to how amazing it is. If we start with a sense of awe and thankfulness for our bodies we can move through this metaphor quite easily.

Body as Shadow

In our modern culture we often lose this sense of wonder about our bodies. Early on in life we are taught to dismiss the joy of using our bodies. We are taught to settle down, to sit still. And while the brain is a part of the body, our relatively new focus on using just that is hindering our body whole ( including the brain ). What synapses aren't getting connected as we sit still? ( Says the guy who is sitting still typing this blog post :) ). We are animals and we need to move. My 6 year old practically vibrates he needs to move so much. It helps him think and focus if he moves while he is using his brain. Thank goodness my wife is homeschooling him, the school system we currently have has no clue what to do with our animal requirement of movement ( except P.E. ). Perhaps this lack of respect is a part of some of the health problems in our culture. Surely we can see the link between motionlessness and obesity. The more we train ourselves to sit still when we are young, the more difficult it is to move when we are older. How would our culture look, how would we look physically if we once again started to honor our bodies? [ad#Google Adsense]

Our Sacred Bodies

Some people seem to already honor their bodies and often proclaim that,"My body is a temple." What does that mean really? For them it might mean that they exercise regularly and maybe they have a good diet. If we take it further, and look at the spiritual context of this statement we can see more. According to dictionary.com a temple can be anything from a building devoted to some public use to any place or object in which God dwells. Though the last one comes from Christianity and I am not much of a Christian I believe that definition holds the most power. If your body is an object in which God dwells how would you treat it? Maybe for you, you might start to dance. Not a bad idea, dancing is awesome exercise and has a very ancient spiritual history. For myself, this chapter and questions like this finally had me run. I had tried to run in the past for sure, but I never took it seriously. I have never seen myself as a runner and in this space of my body temple I recreated myself as one. I found the Couch to 5K program ( C25K ) and I have been following it strictly, running 3 times per week. Running in the rain, the wind and the freezing cold. Some days have taken me as many as 5 attempts to complete, but I did keep trying until I completed them.  I am now on week 8 and this past Monday completed day 1. If you haven't checked the schedule, that's 28 minutes straight of running. Not only did I gain running ability, but I also gained many positive side effects. Running has been the thread for me that has connected, I believe, all the metaphors from this book in some way. In fact, at some point I will discuss how running has affected me in greater detail including its relationship to the 10 metaphors. After I complete the C25K program what's next? I don't know, but running has always been the beginnings of properly training parkour so next I'll probably create myself as a traceur.

The Many Languages of the Body

If you want to communicate with someone how do you do it? You might think it is with words, but studies have shown that a majority of communication is body language. In this book Matthew Fox let's John Conger speak about 7 different languages we have, only one of which is actual verbal communication:

• Instinct
• Sensorimotor
• Vocabulary
• Innate patterns recognized by psychology
• The artistry of senses
• Signs and symbols

All these different methods of communication require our bodies for some of the communication.

Continue Reading this article...

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Food - Holy and Cosmic

Not only are the movements of our body incredible but so is that which we use to fuel our body. Our bodies are made from star stuff and so is the food take in. Plants have taken the energy from the sun and grown. Animals have eaten plants, or other animals, to help them grow. We eat both plants and animals to make ourselves grow. Of course we do, we are animals ourselves. In the end we feed the plants as our bodies decompose in the ground. Ashes to ashes, (cosmic) dust to dust. This food chain, this cycle of life is so beautiful in it's simplicity. In the Hunter Gatherer metaphor I mentioned how some cultures thank an animal for giving their life so that we may live. In rereading this chapter I saw that, even though I don't say grace before a meal this practice could help me both spiritual and in raising my 2 boys ( a spiritual journey unto itself ). Through being thankful to animals who gave their lives and standing in awe of the universe for providing the fruits, vegetables and grains we can offer up good fodds to our body temples.

The Chakras: Rediscovering our Sacred Bodies

I some trouble fully connecting with the concept of chakras. However, the second reading of this chapter gave me more insight into chakras as junctions of energy. If our bodies are a temple, these are the places that our spiritual energy meets to create. I won't get into the details of each chakra as there are books galore on the topic and this book ( buy it if you haven't already! ) is only a place to start but I will speak to the concept in general. All these metaphors in the book overlap in different ways and the chakras seem to be the overlap between Our Cosmic, Animal Bodies and the Spiritual Warrior. From the connection to the earth, to the strength of inner values, the wisdom and the powerful force to be reckoned with chakras have the pieces that make up the warrior. [ad#Books Banner]

Recovering Body Awareness: Four Practical Steps

Like many of the other metaphors in this book you might get into the chapter and see that there is a missing in your life but the how and what of rebalancing is missing. This section is a good start and I found it very helpful. Step One: Grounding - Before I created myself as a runner, I did get a book called Chi Running by Danny Dreyer. It helped me a lot in my form ( which helped me when I became a runner ) but it wasn't a program so its benefits at the time of reading were limited. The lessons in it are invaluable to me now but one in particular was a warm up that he talks about which is specific to being grounded. So now, as I run, I am present to being grounded and thus connected to my green man and mother earth. Step Two: Boundaries - Boundaries are important, but we have less and less practice at honoring them with others. This book has a specific exercise you can try, but you can start by learn your personal comfort zones with different types of people and honoring your own. Also, boundaries aren't about keeping people out. The same way that rules in a pro wrestling match are there so you know when the heel is cheating, boundaries are there so you can let people in when you care for them. Without proper respect for boundaries and their role you miss that important aspect to interpersonal relationships. Step Three: Breathing - Sorry to go back to my practice of running again but this is a huge thing I've gotten from running. Respecting my breathing and breathing consciously have been vital to running itself and given me practice for steadying my breathing in other parts of my life. Conscious breathing is important, not only to exercise but to many forms of meditation and relaxation. That is probably why so many people have taken to Yoga, where breathing and relaxation are the core of the workout. Step Four: Feeling - Reach out with your feelings. Feelings are emotion mixed with physical sensations. To feel something means to both be sensing something you are touching and to have emotions about something. For myself, fatherhood has sent this power into overdrive. I've always been more of a feeling guy but those two little boys have brought my emotions to the surface. This tells me that the image of a "real" man who doesn't cry is false. There is too much spiritual energy wrapped in your emotions that to not feel is to not really be a man. It is scary, especially to feel around people who are not your family but it is powerful. Start to look at this, not as a weakness but as a strength. It doesn't mean you need to get soppy over every terrible written sappy cliché in a movie, but it does mean you can start to connect with the world and people around you on a more emotional level.

Conclusion

This metaphor finishes up with the author sharing a poem and discussing our physical bodies in relation to our spiritual bodies. The poem is a good reminder to love our bodies. Not just the body whole, but the body parts as well. From our head to our toes to our heart, lungs, liver and more we have much to be thankful for. As for the relationship between our spiritual and physical bodies, common teaching says that our spirit resides in our bodies. The author, and I agree with him on this, says that is backwards. Our physical bodies are actual inside of our spirit. Its hokey, but when someone says they can see your aura it is really your spiri(ual body) which is actually on the outside. I'd like to think it is the way in which people are still with us, even after their physical bodies are returning to the dirt to feed the plants.

And now for something a little different. The spirituality of science, because we all are made of star stuff ( and that is so frickin' cool! ).

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGK84Poeynk&w=500&h=405]

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Numinous, Masculine Sexuality, part 2 – Awakening my sacred masculine

Today's post is part 2 of my post on Numinous, Masculine Sexuality. These two posts share my journey through the 6th metaphor from the book The Hidden Spirituality of Men - Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine by Matthew Fox. In my last post I talked about how ancient religions ( and some non-western religions ) worshipped sexuality as sacred. I also discussed how western religions have brought shame into the forefront of sexuality in an attempt to control the sacred. Finally, the last post discussed the fact that sacred sexuality is not just about intercourse - but rather intercourse is just one aspect. In revisiting this chapter I found myself starting to learn to play the guitar and it has given me access to a sexual spirit that has been suppressed for some time now. The topics of today's journey through numinous, masculine sexuality are sperm, male infertility, sexual diversity learning from the gifts of homosexuality and wrapping it all up in sexuality as sacred.

Sperm

In the book, the author had asked a group of mostly men to write down an answer to the question, "What is Sperm?" He shared many of the responses he got and many of them were at or nearing poetic. As someone who had always been uncomfortable with anything sexual in nature it had been very easy for me to never even think about it. Well, in the honor of sharing my journey I am going to attempt to answer that question right here in this blog from my perspective. I only hope I can do it justice.

Why is it so hard to honor sperm? Is it because it has so many names that make us giggle or turn red? Is it because we are afraid of the awesome power that lies within? Sperm is a metaphor for possibility. Each sperm is the possibility of life, and not just any life. The possibility of a new life that we love more than we have ever loved before. I have 2 sons because of sperm. 1 came from planning and one came from a moment of passionate love but they are both a part of my life because of sperm. Of all the fluids that are worshipped in this world - blood, wine, holy water - this seems left out of the sacred mix. So even if it is only a moment before my shame rises again, I take this moment to honor distilled masculine sexuality in sperm.

[ad#Google Adsense] That was tough to write because I felt myself pulled separately by both my reverence and shame that I felt. This chapter, and specifically this section on sperm bring to mind one individual who seems to exude sacred masculine sexual energy more than anyone I can think of - Prince. He has many songs that are clearly about sexuality, including one called Cream. At the end of the movie Purple Rain he has a concert and the finale is him doing an obvious ejaculation from his guitar. Finally, at one point he changed his name to around a legal dispute with Warner Brothers and this is what he had to say about it:

I was born Prince and did not want to adopt another conventional name. The only acceptable replacement for my name, and my identity, was the Love Symbol, a symbol with no pronunciation, that is a representation of me and what my music is about. This symbol is present in my work over the years; it is a concept that has evolved from my frustration; it is who I am. It is my name.

To many the symbol seemed random, but to Prince it was the Love Symbol. Love is central to sacred sexuality and he has embodied it in his art.

Male Infertility

With all this admiration for sperm and its reproductive power the author was confronted by a member of the group that wrote about sperm. For this man the question brought pain because he was infertile. While I have been blessed with two beautiful boys he was unable to have any by his sperm due to that fact. But if you read his story you find out more. You find out about the way he was initially dismissed when having trouble getting his wife pregnant. You find out the research the two of them did to find out about their options. Their journey led them to choosing to have children by using a sperm donor. The mental and emotional power of sperm is strong in this story. Though this man's sperm were incapable of fulfilling their reproductive duty the spiritual aspect of them still led him to having children to whom he is a father. In fact the story goes deeper and it is worth the read.

It was interesting to notice how male infertility is so casually dismissed as if it takes no psychological or spiritual toll. When you compare this to our current (in)ability to honor sperm as we do the ovum it isn't hard to see why this is. Men want to be parents as well and any inability in this area forces a very rocky mental and spiritual path to be walked.

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Sexual Diversity and The Lover

I hate to copy too much from the book, so I will try to paraphrase the first paragraph of this section in the book. Scientifically speaking, sexual reproduction was the genesis of greater diversity of life on earth. After species started reproducing sexually you started to see different traits come out at a much greater rate. In present day we see this through not only physical attributes but also in the types of personalities we all have. If sex was an explosion of diversity why do we act like it should only look one way?

From style to position, from gender roles to gender preference, diversity is a part of sexuality and sexuality is a part of the sacred. One thing that this chapter mentions is that the sacred can not be held back and nature is proof of this in regards to libido. The animal kingdom ( this includes humans ) is pretty consistent in this diversity. I read an article a few weeks ago that talked about the mating rituals of bats that includes oral sex. In regards to homosexuality 464 other species have been observed with homosexual populations. Nature has so much to teach us about many sacred things, so what does it have to teach us about sexuality?

In regards to our acceptance of homosexuality as natural, humankind still has a ways to go but we are on the path. Some countries and states allow same sex marriages. While some recent votes in some states have disheartened me this chapter made me realize something. The very fact that there are votes to vote down means we are on the path right now. If you compare the current movement for gay and lesbian rights to the movements for the rights of women or of different races you'll see a similarity. It's not as if Martin Luther King, Jr. said, "I have a dream..." and everyone said ,"you know, you're right. I'm sorry. I've been treating you different all this time." No, instead they had to keep working to change people's minds through education. Just like today's relationship between religion and homophobia there are examples of people using their religion to support their racism. So for those warriors who are fighting this fight, be heartened. The path may be murky but we are moving forward along it. [ad#Google Adsense]

Honoring, and Learning from, the Gifts of Homosexuality

This section of the chapter was mind blowing and, to be honest, a lot easier to be present to than other sections. In a society that has had news stories about metrosexuals, guys who have typically homosexual traits ( style, tastes, a sense of culture ), it can be hard for some to admit that we have anything to learn from homosexuality. I find this is especially true with gay men who actually have quite a lot to offer their hetero-masculine brethren and neither side may realize it. Because out gay men have already had to do the work to feel comfortable with their own sexuality they can access more of their sacred energies.

For instance:

• Creativity. The style and tastes of gay men are not limited by anything that might seem feminine. In fact the divine feminine is an equal part of creativity as the sacred masculine.
• Being a bridge between men and women. The very fact that gay men can access both energies without shame allows them the ability see outside of normal gender roles that can get in the way of individuals being truly powerful.
• Humor. What is it about gay men that makes hetero men uncomfortable? It might be that they have so much fun with their sexuality. If they are out, they have gotten past the shame and can truly enjoy role playing with their partners.
• Spirituality. Before reading this section I didn't realize that homosexual men used to be the spiritual directors for the great chiefs of Native Americans. They were called berdache or winkte.

The whole concept of winkte makes me wonder if the scandals of homosexuality (with under age boys) in the catholic church comes out of this spiritual connection that has been warped by an attempt to control the sacred (sexuality). My tangent aside there was another statement about winkte that I found interesting. One native woman whose Uncle is homosexual talked about how it is unfortunate that native youth don't know their history and criticize gays. Not only because they don't know their own cultures true history but it also has young winkte not fulfilling their spiritual role in the community.

One last thing hetero men can learn from gay men is how to love other men. I've talked about sex a lot and people often collapse sex and love but they are distinct ( though love is a part of the sacred sexual ). The best definition of love I have ever heard is,"accepting someone for who they are and for who they are not." There are some great examples of non-romantic man to man love, sometimes referred to as a bromance. The example that best comes to mind for me is Turk and JD on the TV show Scrubs. The great thing about their love for each other is that the writers just have fun with it. Along the way a hetero guy like myself starts to feel jealous if he doesn't have a best friend like that in his life.

Sexuality as Sacred

Between last week's post and this I hope that you saw as I did that sexuality is more than just intercourse and erogenous zones. It is a sacred energy that we can tap into for great pleasure and joy in life. Sexuality can not be confined to a single thing because as a mystical energy it can not be confined. It will find a way out but could be distorted in the process. By embracing the sacred sensual we have an opportunity to enjoy life and that which is truly alive. By suppressing it we end up a little dead inside and dead sexual energy= necrophilia. [ad#Books Banner]

Next week's Wednesday Warrior post is a great follow up to sacred sexuality. The next metaphor is titled,"Our Cosmic And Animal Bodies." More posting without the net of comfort there. If you liked this post please subscribe to my RSS Feed and/or follow me on Twitter. If you only want to read my Wednesday Warrior posts subscribe to the Wednesday Warrior feed. Until next time, thanks for reading.

Numinous, Masculine Sexuality, part 1 - Awakening my sacred masculine

Welcome the first part of metaphor 6 on my journey through the book "The Hidden Spirituality of Men - Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine" by Matthew Fox. If this is your first time reading my blog you might want to at least read the initial post on the book. You can also check out other posts in the series. Beyond that, read on. Here it is, the metaphor on sexuality. This metaphor was the most confronting to start reading. I put it off both subconsciously and consciously for about 2 weeks. At the same time, masculine sexual energy is a major reason I started looking into the men's studies movement. As a father of two boys, I kept questioning whether or not I would know how to speak powerfully to them about sex when the time comes.

Being raised in an all (powerful) female household I really never had a male figure I trusted to discuss these things with and I was already ashamed about how other men treated women. Initially, the question of masculine sexuality pulled me on this journey through the sacred masculine and I was afraid of this metaphor the most ( my ego was definitely shaking in its boots ). [ad#Google Adsense] When I finally read the chapter, I breezed through it and got a lot of information. I felt much more comfortable and saw the bigger picture of the sacredness of sexuality. When I reread it before writing this article I noticed how much I missed. Realizing that my subconscious probably zoned out on the first pass, I made an effort to take in the information inside this book.

I feel I must say one thing before moving on. This article is about sexuality as it concerns the sacred masculine. It is meant as a serious spiritual discussion. Watch where you find yourself giggling as that is where you are probably missing out sacrament of sex. Read on if you are ready.

Masculine Sexuality, Numinous Sexuality

In order to best stay true to what I got from this metaphor I will be following the sections of the chapter and use those headings. One distinction is very important for this metaphor - the distinction between spirituality and religion in regards to sexuality. Long before the religions of today, people treated sex as a spiritual experience. Many current religions treat sex as a sin.

"Our Western institutional religious tradition has essentially repressed and distorted the sexual instinct and thereby created a variety of personal and social pathologies. In doing so it has also effectively removed sexuality from its religious foundations."

Also keep in mind that

"...for most people the experience of sex is more powerful than their experience of religion."

This must be because during sex we are making a strong connection to the sacred and during religious ceremonies we may be holding some of the spiritual energies back. [ad#Books Banner]

Ancient Sacred Metaphors of Sexuality

There are ancient temples that still exist that obviously worship the male phallus. Because they still exist people get a sense of the awe. In this space of awe one has the ability to experience joy and pleasure through intercourse and other forms of sex. What must it be like to worship masculine sexual energy without shame?

Sexuality and Shame:A Western Inheritance

I've written before how much of being a man can be summed up in one word, shame. When it comes to sex it is felt by the truckload. I've grown up in the Western world where sex is considered dirty ( and that being dirty is a bad thing ). While it is generally considered okay for men to want sex, only the hunt is really accepted. The act itself, the connection to ones partner and to the universe are not given their due. As such men's stories about sex are about quantity and/or domination rather than quality and connectedness. If a man does talk about the spirituality of sex people often don't listen or if they do they believe the man to be boasting about prowess. [ad#Google Adsense] Yes, having fun with sex, enjoying it is even worse in Western culture. Which brings up another issue, roleplaying. In western culture there is some of this that occurs, but even it gets perverted to the point that the roleplaying is not used for connectedness but to create more separation. A separation between the people involved and a separation from the full experience of it. Roleplaying isn't just about wearing costumes, though that can be part of it. Its about having fun with your partner and looking for new experiences together. Its important to switch roles occasionally. Switch who's on top and who's on bottom ( both physically and metaphorically ) to make sure both people get the full experience. Passion equals play, so to keep the spark going have some fun together.

The Many Names of Sexuality

I've used the word sexuality so many times that you may have thought I was only talking about sex. There are many other names used in the book and I would like to share a few that you may not be thinking of.

• Union
• Laughter
• Joy
• Surrender
• Healing
• The Sacred Masculine
• The Divine Feminine
• Hope
• Creativity
• Music

This list is less extensive than what is in the book. In the book they also add the point that you can most likely add more of your own. So as we discuss sexuality realize that we are discussing so much more than intercourse. [ad#Books Banner]

The Lover's Revelation

Did you know that the Bible devotes and entire book to praising sexual love as divine? I didn't but the author mentioned time and again that Song of Songs does just that. Despite my less than biblical path to spirituality, I'm intrigued to see what it says.

Religions around the world have spent some if not a lot of time discussing divinity of sexual love. Why? What do we get from it? As you look closely you see that we get more than we thought. There is the connected to another person, the connectedness to the universe. I've heard a comic describe how sex is weird because a man (who usually focuses on one thing) has to focus on many things at once and a woman (who usually splits focus between many things ) has to focus on one thing. This is funny because of the truth in it ( and he had much better delivery than my writing ). It shows that through sexual love we also gain perspective.

As one studies the power of numinous sexuality one also sees the importance of mutuality. Sexual energy is shared when used positively. This also lets us see a little of the shadow energies most often associated with (masculine) sexuality. The shadow energy of sexuality comes out as domination instead of mutual physical love. Some of this shadow energy comes because of the repression of sexuality in our culture. It is such a powerful part of our spirits that it will come out. That is why it is important to embrace what it truly is so that it can flow powerfully.

Intermission

These sacred masculine posts are growing quite long, and in order to give this one enough time I am breaking it up into two parts. Part two of Numinous Masculine Sexuality will cover sperm, male infertility, sexual diversity, what heterosexuals can learn from homesexuals and how to approach sexuality as sacred. Until next week, what sorts of thoughts did this article spark for you in the realm of sacred sexuality? Does any of this ring true for you or do you think I'm barking up the wrong tree? Please leave your comments below or send a private message through this blog's contact page. [ad#Google Adsense] If you liked this post please subscribe to my RSS Feed and/or follow me on Twitter. If you only want to read my Wednesday Warrior posts subscribe to the Wednesday Warrior feed. Until next time, thanks for reading.

Spiritual Warriors - Awakening my hidden masculine

This was by far the most exciting metaphor for me to read in The Hidden Spirituality of Men, before I even read it. As someone who has struggled with aggression in the past and learned to be passive instead this was something I needed to read. My image of a warrior was not a good one. I have repressed many of my warrior traits and here was a metaphor that spoke about it powerfully. There was some talk of the difference between a soldier and a warrior that intrigued me. [ad#Google Adsense]

The Spiritual Warrior

When talking about a spiritual warrior you need to keep in mind the context of the "Great Work." The work is not something that we have chosen but a task that we must take. It is the task of moving modern industrial civilization from its present devestating influence on the Earth to a more benign mode of presence. This work can take many forms, but one must keep it in mind when learning about true warrior energy.

What is a spiritual warrior and why is it important?

The spiritual warrior is the metaphor that helps to answer 2 questions that have come up so far on our journey - what to do with male aggression and what to do with competition. The spiritual warrior teaches us how to steer both into healthy directions. So how does aggression usually show up in our world? It shows up in war, conquest ( including business or sex ), passivity, selfish competition and more negative outlets of aggression. Competition was part of that list and too often it shows up as selfish competition in our world. Competition where I have to win and you must lose. Though these traits and actions are often associated with warriors they should not. The problem arises from the fact that too many people have collapsed the term warrior with that of a soldier.

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Warrior, soldier - what's the difference?

A soldier takes orders from other people while a warrior takes orders from the soul. You can see this represented in movies such as Dances With Wolves where at first he is a soldier following orders but he becomes a warrior fighting for what his soul knows is right. The same thing happens in real life when veterans go to war and come back home and march with their brothers against the war the themselves had fought in. The spiritual warrior also doesn't take orders from society when there is a "Great Work" that needs to be accomplished. Martin Luther King, Jr., Gandhi and Ralph Nader are examples of warrior spirits that take orders from their own souls instead of from society.

The warrior is in touch with his heart - the joy, the sadness, the expansiveness of it. The warrior, unlike the soldier, is a lover. The warrior is so much in touch with his heart that he can give it to the world. The warrior loves not only his nearest kin and mate but also the world and God. The warrior relates to God as a lover. This is different than the soldier who relates to God as Judge. This difference brings to mind a quote from the movie, The Man in The Iron Mask. In it D'Artagnan (Gabriel Byrne) tells King Louis XIV (Leonardo DiCaprio) about how Athos (John Malkovich) had taught him "Each time I draw my sword I should consider, not what I was killing but what I was allowing to live". I love that statement. In that statement lives the distinction between a soldier and a warrior.

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Sounds great, how does one become a warrior?

The warrior fight begins with first overcoming yourself and your own demons. Some demons seems small, like the limitations we put on ourselves when we say "I can't." Other demons are larger, such as pride that has us go to battle over namecalling or someone stepping on your shoe. Martial Arts and meditations are two great was to begin to overcome yourself and your own demons. These disciplines are great places to study the 8 principles of a warrior: inner peace, tranquility, love, power, strength, honor, majesty, respect. Turn each of these 8 principles both inward as well as outward. Some principles such as power, strength and majesty often get perverted when they are turned inward only. If you want power, strength and majesty for yourself but you don't give it to others it leads you down a spiral away from the true warrior and into its shadow energy.

This doesn't mean you won't slip on your warrior journey. A warrior is human after all and it is important for a warrior to be humble. It is this humility that is part of another important aspect of a warrior - being non-judgmental. A warrior knows that others don't win every internal battle because they themselves do not win every battle. Judgment comes from inexperience, not having experienced losses against personal demons. A warrior has experienced losses, because he has fought battles, and thus does not judge others. These experiences make the warrior humble.

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How do spiritual warriors relate to fear?

"In our tradition, we believe that fear is the door in the heart that lets evil spirits in. Thus all prayer is a strengthening of the heart to keep fear at bay."

-Buck Ghosthorse

Fear is built into our brains in order to keep us alive. Stay away from that ledge you might fall and die. That lion sounds hungry, it's best to stay away. These make sense on the level of physical survival. As our brains have developed fear has morphed beyond the death of our physical bodies and now shows up when our egos are threatened. It is the fear that comes up when our egos are threatened that gets in the way of our true selves. Our ego must die in order for our true selves to come out. Our ego is the biggest, baddest inner demon there is. It is always there and will never go away. For example, listening is a warriors art. In order to listen we must let go of the fear that our ego "who knows everything" will be destroyed if we listen to someone else (or to our true self). In order to truly listen we must give up the notion that we know everything and our ego fights us on that, but it is a battle we can easily win. The Kennedy quote on fear is an adaptation of the Buddha quote that sums it all up,

"There is nothing to fear. If there is anything at all to fear, fear only yourself!"

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How to become a warrior redux.

Warriorhood is a journey, not a destination. It is a journey that takes us on four different and intertwining paths. The positive path, the negative path, the creative path and the transformative path.

The positive path the celebration of life. The world is beautiful and the warrior is open to this beauty. Cynics focus on the lack of grace and generosity in the world, the warrior is thankful for all the examples in the world that he sees.

The negative path takes the warrior into the darkness so that he may see the light. He does this through solitude, facing internal demons and letting go of those demons. The warrior learns from this process who he is, is helps him be humble. the darkness also helps he on the positive path. After being through whatever hells the darkness may bring, the positive path can be enjoyed even more passionately.

The creative path, or rather creativity is the true weapon of a spiritual warrior. The very nature of the Great Work requires him to do something new, something he must create. Samurai warriors studied ikebana, a specialized form of flower arrangement as a practice to keep their weapon honed. A warrior is an artist who works for the people that they might live.

The transformative path is the path of self reflection. A true spiritual warrior is humble after all. The warrior is always checking to make sure what they are creating includes justice and compassion. Without this test, a warrior could easily tap into his shadow energy. The shadow energy could create something that looks like justice without compassion or compassion that gets nothing done. With both justice and compassion, real momentum can be made in the Great work. The way to the transformative path is linked closely with the creative and the negative paths. The warrior comes up with his great work, but then he must test it.  Inside these tests he ensures that it is truly a Great Work of justice and compassion. He must look and see if there is a darkness to his work and revisit the creative path as he hones the idea further.

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What is the shadow form of warrior energy?

Unfortunately there are many false prophets out there ( and inside ourselves ). They worry more about the destination and so they do not fully take the 4 paths of a warrior. Some give in to fear and let it guide them. Ultimately, what is missing is the Great Work - the TRUE Great Work. Remember, a Great Work is the task of moving modern industrial civilization from its present devastating influence on the Earth to a more benign mode of presence. Some works are big and seem grand but have they passed the test of justice and compassion? For instance, recently California's proposition 8 made it so that marriage in California is only between a man and a woman instead of between a man and a man or woman and a woman. In the most recent elections this big work to ensure marriage between is only between a man and a woman continued in other states with similar propositions. If we test this against justice, some might think it passes. However, when tested against compassion it fails miserably and thus is not a great work. If we look closer we can see that this work is guided by fear and fear is, as Buck Ghosthorse said, the door in the heart that lets evil spirits in. Despite this works religious core, it is not spiritual. But, warriors are out there making a difference using their creative energy. Just today I read an article about a man who is working on an initiative in California to ban divorce. He isn't doing it because he truly believes it should be banned, but rather as satire of the importance of government protecting the sanctity of marriage.

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Conclusion

So the warrior is an important part of the male psyche. I would say it isn't actually a metaphor but a true part of being a man ( and most likely of being human - though feminine energy might show up slightly differently ). Can you see the difference between the warrior and a soldier? Do you see the importance? I have mentioned a few well known warriors in this post, Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi and Ralph Nader. But there are many more out there. Who are the warriors you thought of as you read this? You might have thought of someone but discounted them because they won't be found in history books - if their work passes the test of compassion and justice is follows the description of a Great Work they most likely are a warrior. I'd love to hear who you see as a warrior or better yet when have you seen yourself as a warrior.

For myself, while rereading this chapter for the post I have seen the warrior show up internally, as it should at first. In my running I used it to finish a long run where mental blocks were keeping me from finishing. My creative side started playing music again. The positive path has had me enjoy music passionately for the first time in a long time. I like the warrior, it is good and powerful energy. It is for that reason that I have decided to make my men's studies posts on Wednesdays and call them my Wednesday Warrior posts. ( I also laughed at the idea of making a shirt that says ,"I'm a warrior" on the front and "...on Wednesdays" on the back )

Next we will take a look at the most difficult chapter/metaphor for me to be with the chapter on numinous sexuality.  That is the chapter that I made up all sorts of reasons, both consciously and unconsciously, to put off reading for a few weeks. But I read it, and I'm glad I did. Now is the time to reread it for next weeks Wednesday Warrior post. Until then I wish you a powerful journey.

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