If you spend any time on social media, you notice a pretty reliable pattern: negativity scales.

Whether it’s movies, TV shows, music, or programming languages, being critical is an express lane to engagement. Tearing something down gets reposted. Cynicism gets rewarded. A snarky thread dunking on a tool or a trend feels like an easy way to find your people.

And yes, I realize the heavy irony of starting an article by complaining about people complaining. But hear me out. It’s effortless to fall into that rhythm. It’s worth pausing to ask: what are we actually building when we bond over contempt?

The Trap of Shared Dislike

Look across almost any online space, and you’ll see people actively trashing things. Take programming languages like Java, or a universally mocked band like Creed, or any number of pop culture staples. People love to talk about what’s "bad," but if you press them, they don’t always have a clear reason why.

Often, the dislike isn't about the thing itself. It’s about belonging. Disliking the same things as someone else makes you feel like part of an in-group. It’s a shortcut to camaraderie: We both think this is garbage, therefore we share a worldview.

But ask yourself honestly: do you want to be part of a group whose only identifying feature is what they hate?

That’s a pretty hollow clubhouse.

The Illusion of Taste

A lot of our cultural gatekeeping comes straight from consumer marketing machinery. Beauty standards are a great example—they are manufactured through advertising until enough people are nudged into subconscious agreement.

The truth is, art, media, and tools come in different genres because different things are made for different people’s tastes. It is entirely okay if something isn't built for you. Not every song needs to speak to your soul; not every programming framework needs to fit your specific workflow. Recognizing that something isn't your cup of tea is a far cry from declaring it objectively worthless.

Making Stuff Is Hard

Here is a perspective shift that changes how you look at the world: making stuff isn't easy.

Whether you’re writing code, recording an album, shooting a film, or designing an app, creation requires vulnerability and immense labor. And getting that creation out into the world—where actual humans can experience it—is an entirely separate mountain to climb.

When you internalize how difficult it is just to ship anything, your relationship with art changes. Instead of defaulting to cynicism, it becomes much more interesting to ask: Who might this actually be for? What aspects of it are intriguing, even if it didn't completely land?

Choosing Joy

I genuinely enjoy liking things, especially art.

Cynicism masquerades as intelligence, but appreciation takes real courage. It’s an active choice to drop the armor of cool detachment and allow yourself to care.

So let's flip the script. Let's build our communities around joy, curiosity, and shared enthusiasm rather than a mutual list of grievances. Life is too short to spend it rolling your eyes at things other people love. Go find the stuff you enjoy, appreciate the effort it took to get it there, and find your people around that.