Who is responsible when tragedy strikes?

Something terrible happened yesterday. Not to me, but I'm feeling it today. 33 people are dead and 15 injured after somebody started shooting people Virginia Tech. I'm not a fan of President Bush but he said it fairly well when he said,"Schools should be places of safety, sanctuary and learning. When that sanctuary is violated, the impact is felt in every American classroom in every American community." It captured the feeling pretty well except that it left out a group I am a part of. Parents. As a parent it frightens me. These weren't my kids, but it could easily have been. This event has many people asking, "Who is responsible?" I started at that point but am now on, "How am I responsible?" ...

Let me preface that previous statement with what I mean by responsible. For me, responsibility is being cause in the matter. So the question restated is, "How did I cause this tragedy?". Once stated like that it lends itself to, "How can I prevent this tragedy from happening again". Before we go to that let's stay focused on the first question.

Obviously, the shooter was the one that did the shooting ( poor sentence but simple and accurate ). Who was I being, that had this person decide to kill people before killing himself? How does a person get to the point that a shooting spree and suicide seem to be the only option left in life? The only answers I come up with point to seperateness.

Our society is becoming more seperate every day. Our houses are set up so we never have to see our neighbors. My daily commutes are filled with examples of people being inconsiderate to other drivers, often times breaking the law, because in their car they don't have to think about people in other cars. We hear so many stories about how terrible other people are; so we do our best to not talk, look at or even acknowledge the presence of other people. And yet, here we are. A tragedy has occurred, most likely due to this seperateness that was suppose to protect us.

Perhaps instead of being seperate to protect ourselves, the answer lies in coming together. Many people will blame the shooter's parents for his actions. This helps to let themselves off the hook. The reality is, it takes a village to raise a child and we need to start acting this way. As a parent, I can raise my kids to be the best they can be. However, I can also do this for other kids I meet. I can teach my kids to be respectful of other people, and I can practice what I preach. I can teach my kids many things about how to relate to everyone they will meet. They will also learn a lot from everyone they will meet. I should return that favor by teaching and learning from all the people I meet. But what about the bad, evil monsters who will prey on such social interactions?

Sure, there are people who might take advantage of this, but hopefully I can learn how to protect myself from those situations and teach others as well. There is no need to cut myself off from society all the time because of the minority of terrible actions out there. Time and again we see how great the majority is by their reactions to these tragedies.

In short, yesterday's tragedy was another wakeup call to all humans. Don't just hit snooze on this alarm. I can make a difference, you can make a difference and we can make a difference in so many lives that this type of horrible event does not become so common that we become numb to it. Thank you for reading.

Language Lessons

In the movie 'Better Off Dead', the thing that got Lane Meyer( John Cusack ) down the K12, ahead of the ski captain and away from the paperboy all while on one ski, was language lessons. And while Monique's( Diane Franklin ) brand of language lessons are probably worth writing about, that is not what this post is about. Instead, this post is a follow up to my post a few weeks ago called the Power of Language. ...

In my previous post I wrote about how it would be good for us to become multilingual. Being multilingual has many benefits and the only thing stopping many people ( other than lack of desire ) is a knowledge of how to start learning. So I decided to put together a list of ways I have found to study French( what I am currently learning ) and talk about how you can go about finding information on whatever interest you.

1. Library - I am a big proponent of everyone having a library card. A ton of free reference, as well as other, reading material all indexed and catalog much better than the internet. If your library has one, check out the media section. You'll probably be able to find learn by cd or cassette tape versions of the language you are interested in. This is great for long drives. I did this when I had weekly trips between Wilmington and Louisville ( 12 hours each direction ).
2. Podcasts - You don't need to have an IPod to listen to a podcast. Any MP3 player will do. Just google up the language you want to learn and podcast and you should be good to go. I googled up 'French Podcast' and I came across frenchpodclass.com. It is more than just someone teaching french. Each week Sebastien puts together a lesson plan based on a bi-weekly topic. Along with that he intersperses french music, movies and television so that you can learn the language from real uses of it. There are plenty of these out there for many languages so you can try a few and find one you like. By the way, if you do have an IPod and use ITunes, it is really easy to find these. All you have to do is, from the store select Podcasts. Then in Categories select Education. They should be in some of the top ones on that list but you can then select Language Courses under more education. Then it is very easy to sync your IPod as a podcast you subscribe to is updated.
3. Learner.org - This is actually a resource for educators but as a parent and/or student you can use this as well. On this site I have found video on demand for programs that teach french, spanish and german. There is quite a lot of other stuff that you may find yourself interested in watching as well. Especially if you are as much of a nerd as me. For learning french I find an episode of 'French In Action' is very nice( of course Valerie Allain as Mireille makes it pretty easy to watch ).
4. Foreign Service Institute - This is something very interesting I found online. The foreign service institute is trains people who go into foreign service. Since the language courses are created by the US government, they are in the public domain. With this knowledge, a group of people have put together a website trying to get as many different language programs available to people as they can. The website is www.fsi-language-courses.com and they have lots of different language options to learn. Not all languages have all the modules, but this is how the professionals learn so even partial programs are worth your time.
5. DVDs - This isn't a huge deal but many DVDs have language tracks that you can listen to and/or subtitles in different languages. Some educational DVDs our kids have actually have slightly different content based on language chosen. So pop in your DVD and change the language options. It's time to watch Harry Potter in spanish with french subtitles!

I hope the these options give you some ideas on how to proceed in your language lessons. Unfortunately, none of them point to language lessons in the language of love that Monique and Lane get to experience in Better Off Dead. Oh well, there's plenty of research you can do on that. Enjoy.

The power of language

Recently I received an email that started with the sentence, "I don't want to be part of the problem so I am passing this on." The 'problem' it was referring to was the spanish language in the United States of America and how its use was on the rise. A specific point it brought up was 'the Pledge of Allegiance'[ to the USA and its flag ] was said in spanish after a bilingual student had finished saying it in english. At the end of a diatribe about how it was never translated into polish, german or any other language of other immigrants( I'd like some indisputable proof on that one ), it ended with the trite, short sighted expression 'if you aren't part of the solution you are part of the problem - so pass this on'. Today's article is about why I chose to, in the eyes of the original email sender, be part of the problem and how I feel we are missing an opportunity. ...

"This is America, we speak english here!" Well actually, many languages are spoken in America, or rather the Americas( North and South ). You can of course change the America to United States of America but statements like the former show a certain lack of vision. By holding on to who we know ourselves to be so much that we don't let others grow, we do everyone a disservice. I will explain a couple ways this is done below.

First, someone said the Pledge of Allegiance in spanish( after saying it in english ). Let's go over the Pledge, part by part"

"I Pledge Allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands." Those words, said in any language, convey a very powerful message. Someone is pledging loyalty and devotion to the Republic and flag of the USA. The aren't promising to speak english.

"One Nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all." This part describes, in my mind, the reason someone would pledge allegiance to the USA. It is one nation that can not be divided, but not because there is a totalitarian dictator holding it together through martial law. The USA also offers freedom from control and fairness for everyone( there is no exemption in the sentence ).

As a proud citizen of the United States of America, I think this pledge should be said and honored in as many languages as possible. When someone says this pledge in their native tongue, it means quite a bit more than saying it in their second( or third, etc ) language.

Does this mean I think they shouldn't learn english? No, I just think it would be good if we learned spanish or, more to the point, became a multilingual culture. There are precendents set for this. Our neighbors to the north, in Canada, are multi-lingual. The have english and french all over the place, especially in Quebec. When I visited Europe I noticed that many of the people I came in contact with spoke many languages. Usually at least 3 but often times more. But why compare our country to others in ways we come up short( from one point of view )? A good reason to create a multilingual culture is the effect on our ability to think.
Research has shown some interesting things about thinking in more than one language. Different languages reflect another view on something, usually based on a languages history and culture. Research has also shown that foreign language education in elementary school does not hinder a childs ability to learn other important lessons. So if it is good for our minds and doesn't hinder other learning let's do it. I'm working on learning languages myself and will pass on some resources in future postings. So, while I am not part of the solution the email writer was referring to I choose to be part of a solution that helps us all grow into the future.

Everything I Need To Know I Learned From Wrestling

After I had been wrestling for a while and started to talk to people who didn't know much about wrestling, I used to joke that I was going to write a book called "Everything I need to know, I learned from wrestling". Well, I may not have enough for a whole book, but I figure occasionally I'll post an article talking about something I learned in wrestling that applies outside of the ring. Today's article is a basic, and yet outside of wrestling I don't see it that often, shaking people's hands. ...

When I say shaking people's hands, I'm not talking about during job interviews and business deals. What I'm talking about can best be described how I learned it. One of my good friends from wrestling is former WCW wrestler Maestro, who now goes by the name of Stro. This guy has been around a long time and is one of the nicest people I have ever met. One of the things he makes a point to do at every show is say hello to everyone backstage before the show and shakes their hands. He also, makes a point to actually talk to you, and find out what is going on. Then, at the end of the show he makes a point to do it all again, except this time he is saying goodbye. He usually will shake a person's hand 2, 3 or more times a night.

While it may seem a little wierd, the way he does it is important. He doesn't just shake your hand and say hello or goodbye. He shakes your hand, says hello and then asks you how you are doing. To be honest, I don't think he even talks about himself until you ask him how he is doing.

Forget about yourself for a moment. Taking the time to touch someone ( in a safe manner ) and ask how they are doing is a sure way to brightening up someone's day. Even if they are telling you how miserable their day is, they finally have someone who is just listening to them. Plus, the safe-physical touch starts to set up a closer connection as well. This is good, humans need other humans.

I try to make a point of saying hello and goodbye to everyone in my small office, and usually with a handshake or a pat on the shoulder. I want everyone around me to know that they matter to me, because they do. I've started a new gym recently and I will make a point of meeting at least 1 new person a week starting this week, and the lessons I learned in the ring ( or rather backstage ) will help me with that. Pretty soon, it will be easier, and more pleasant for me to go to the gym because I will have so many friends there ( oh, did I forget to tell you to start thinking of yourself again? ).

It takes a little courage at first, but it is really quite easy to do. Make a point of giving someone a few moments of time to connect with you. It will benefit you both.
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Daryl "Deacon" Ducharme never actually wrestled in school. He only does the stuff a lot of people who have never tried it call fake. 2007 marks the year Deacon is coming out of retirement. Watch this blog to find out more.

September 11th makes me think...

If you are an American September 11th brings back a lot of memories of seeing 2 landmarks of American culture fall to the ground in an amazing act of violence. For all American's and anyone else touched by those events thoughts and emotions are evoked every time it is brought up.

For me many things come up. After reading some of the word said yesterday during 5th anniversary events I had many things to think about. And here is one thought I had. ...

Think about the people who are most important to you. Your wife, your husband, your parents and your children. More people, such as friends and your extended family can most certainly be included here. Now imagine one or more of them died in some tragic event. How would you feel? You would have to deal with the loss of your loved ones.

In dealing with grief we go through 5 stages. Those five stages, in order, are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

Now back to your loved ones dieing, first you have to go through denial that it even happened or that your loved one died from it. But you are a logical person and when something so horrific happens even your hope gives way quickly. You soon pass on to the next stage, anger.

In anger you are mad at everyone you see responsible for the tragic event occurring. Your government, who is suppose to protect you. Yourself, for letting them go that day. And whomever others are saying are to blame. Let's hold on to that anger for a bit before we get to bargaining.

Before you get to bargaining though, where you try to make deals with whomever you think can assuage your pain you find out more information. You find out from sources you trust who the ones responsible for this terrible act that killed your loved ones are. You find out that the people responsible did this because they said your country's government did the same type of damage to them. Your anger, that you still hold on to because the pain is so great, gets a little more fuel. You didn't do anything! Your loved ones didn't do anything! Why did they have to pay the price for something my country's government did. I don't even believe my country would do such a thing.

You are close to bargaining here. Trying to make deals with your god so you can make sense of it all. Then you learn more about these evil monsters who could do such a thing to innocent people. Information comes out that your country had nothing to do with what happened to these evil monsters. Just as you suspected.

Then a voice of reason is heard. Someone, who believes what you are starting to believe about these monsters. This person starts calling you to action. We need to do something about these monsters before they destroy more of our lives. You listen a little, but like I said, you are a logical person who and you don't do anything. You don't like the idea of killing people.

You don't want to get involved in a war against anyone but now your glasses are covered with a new filter. A new filter that looks upon some group of people as evil monsters. And you start to see and hear more proof. You start to see startling images of people they have taken prisoner. How can they be so cold? Your answer be cause they are monsters not humans. All of the sudden you are listening to that voice of reason. You are listening to the person who tells you to do your part. Take up arms if you can. Do whatever you can to defeat these monsters or else these atrocities will never cease.

Now imagine for a bit that you are not an American but an Iraqi, Pakistani or any middle eastern inhabitant for that matter. All of the sudden stuff starts blowing up and innocent people, including your loved ones, are getting killed. Hold on, I said pretend you are not an American. You don't get to tell yourself that is the price of war. You are someone else who is not in a war. All you are trying to do is survive, go to work or school, and support your family. Imagine then that the reasons they did this is because someone blew up 2 of their buildings ( yes more were destroyed and/or damaged but you aren't an American and the Pentagon is not an important symbol to you and neither is WTC building 7 ). Later you find out that they are mistreating their prisoners of war. You start questioning who the criminals are here. Then, you find out that these attacks had nothing to do with those buildings. Your anger would be boiling and you may not have any problems fighting back any longer.

In conclusion, we need to remember that people act violently for many reasons. We don't want to give people more reasons to be violent, we want to give them reasons not to. If we truly consider ourselves to be better, which makes little sense in the global scheme of thing, then we need to take the high moral ground. I have a short thought to finish on. More people die each year from car accidents than terrorism. More people die each year from cancer than terrorism. In fact, more people die each year from their appendix bursting than terrorism! Yet our focus is on terrorism because of the images that hold on to us. Let's handle our grief and move all the way to acceptance so we can make some rational decision about the matters at hand.