Wednesday Warrior Daryl Ducharme Wednesday Warrior Daryl Ducharme

Earth Father - awakening my sacred masculine

The 9th metaphor in the book The Hidden Spiruality of Men - Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine is titled earth father. For me my journey into men's studies and down the spiritual path of the sacred masculine comes from asking questions about being a father. In my first post on numinous masculine sexuality I discussed how sexuality and questioning how to raise 2 boys to not be ashamed of sex like I was (and still am somewhat) was a major catalyst for this exploration. Between my first steps, in the book Fire in The Belly and currently these Wednesday Warrior posts I focused on much more of what it means to be masculine and that has guided me quite well on my fatherhood journey.

Earth Father - sacred masculine central

Fatherhood is central to the sacred masculine. From this book alone you can see how it is linked to each of the other 9 metaphors:

  • Father Sky - Also a father metaphor, father sky is more distant than the Earth Father. One must not forget the importance of solitude and space in masculinity/fatherhood which Father Sky provides.
  • The Green Man - This one is linked as another earth metaphor. Earth Father is grounded, much like the Green Man. Being a good steward of our planet is a great way to provide for our children and our children's children.
  • Icarus and Daedalus - Another father metaphor, or a rather a parable to learn from. Fathers must not only be willing to teach their children, but learn from them as well.
  • Hunter-Gatherers - In modern society this is hard to see. Where are the rites of passage from boyhood to manhood ? How can we as men create the important psychological and spiritual aspects of these for our children?
  • Spiritual Warriors - As a father, what do we fight for? What do we value? We reap what we sow in regards to the Spiritual Warrior's connection to the Earth Father. We must lead by example.
  • Masculine Sexuality, Numinous Sexuality - I do not want my sons to learn that sex = shame. I want them to be powerful individuals in all aspects of their lives.
  • Our Cosmic and Animal Bodies - As fathers how do we take care of our bodies? Our children's? Once again, leading by example has us teach our children respect for themselves.
  • The Blue Man - In all the trials and tribulations of fathering, there must be compassion, there must be a loving heart.
  • Grandfather Sky:The Grandfatherly Heart - The father begets the grandfather, 'nuff said :)

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Earth Father - not just for fathers

While the earth father and fathering are central to the sacred masculine they do not refer only to literal fatherhood. Literal fatherhood is just the most obvious place to access it. In a post ( or two ) on my old blog I discussed Mr. Miyagi from the Karate Kid. No one would say that there is not an earth father being portrayed in those films and yet he is not a literal father. A powerful force, the mentor. The mentor spreads earth father energy out into the community. Perhaps you have a memory of a teacher that became your mentor at one point. They are out there and you can be one too. It doesn't take much but time and caring, but mostly caring.

Paternal energy doesn't stop with men either. The earth father's paternal energy can be tapped into by women ( and is ) in the same way that men can tap into the earth mother's maternal energy. A literal father and literal mother both tap into paternal and maternal energies, it takes both to raise a child.

Being a stand for the community

The Earth Father takes a look at the world he is leaving for his children, and his children's children, and strives to make it the best he can make it for them. To do this he must stand for his community and in his community. Helping others and helping the environment are the keys. For a while I've been wondering if I could find a mens group in my area. Recently I've actually thought about the possibility of actually being the one to create a mens group in my area for this very reason. By being a stand for those around us to be great, we get to live in greatness.

These are of course my take on earth father energies. I'd love to hear others. Perhaps you aren't a literal father and have a take on it. Maybe you are a grandfather who has reach the next level of fatherhood. Maybe you are a woman reading this and care to share with us your perspective. Whatever your view I'd love to hear it in the comments. Of course, keep in mind that I barely touch the topic and this is a great book to read yourself as you will most likely get something else out of it than I.

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Randomness Daryl Ducharme Randomness Daryl Ducharme

Statements, Requests and Commands

Being a parent is a learning experience. A common theme while parenting is teaching your kids to be better communicators. In trying to teach my kids I am often forced to learn and re-learn concepts until I find the best way to explain something to them. Recently I had an educational encounter with my 4 year when I was trying to get him to ask for something, while I was at it I threw in a politeness lesson as well. :) ...

You may have seen this yourselves - someone says, "I want something" but you would prefer they say, "Could you get me something. Either of those statements is preferrable to, "Give me something." So why does one make more you want to act more than the other? Is it politeness?

A simple politeness test would be to add the word please to each sentence. For a litte clarity let's make the word something a tangible object.

  1. I want some chips please.
  2. Could you get me some chips please?
  3. Get me some chips please.

I don't know about you but the first and third sentences do not make much sense. The word please has been shortened over the long years of language evolution from if you please. In french, s'il vous plait is often translated as just please but it really is closer to if you please. For examination purposes let's see those sentences again in long form( and moved around a little ).

  1. If you please, I want some chips.
  2. If you please, would you get me some chips?
  3. If you please, get me some chips.

I think that translation makes it a little clearer, the word please does not make one sentence clearer than another. Sentence one is a statement. Sentence two is a request. Sentence three is a command.

A statement just lets you know some data. When my son says I want some chips he has given me some data. I could use that data and get him some chips but no request was made so I'm not clear he would like me to take any action.

A request is a question. As with all non-rhetorical questions it is looking for a response of some kind. If my son makes a request for me to get him some chips I can respond by getting chips, telling him to wait for a moment and I will get them, telling him no( because they are junk food ) or a plethora of other responses. In this situation he has allowed me the opportunity to choose a response.

If my son tells me to get him chips he is making a command. A command is interesting because it is a statement of what you need to do or face the consequences. So it still puts the ball in the other person's court, similar to a request, but it is expecting a certain response. This doesn't work well for my son because the only consequence is him being angry with me for a few minutes( if that ).

Keeping a long story long, or rather getting back to a short story, I made these distinctions for my son. He seemed to get it. The first thing he said to me this morning was, "Daddy, will you please get me some pineapple?"

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Randomness Daryl Ducharme Randomness Daryl Ducharme

LOCs Lifelong Literacy Campaign

Originally posted by http://www.loc.gov/literacy/about/:

In an effort to inspire young people to become lifelong learners and encourage reading, the Ad Council and the Library of Congress have launched a new series of public service advertisements (PSAs) to promote the Lifelong Literacy campaign.Created pro bono by The Geppetto Group, Buena Vista Home Entertainment and the Brigham Young University (BYU) Ad Lab, the new TV and web PSAs encourage children to “explore new worlds” and visit www.Literacy.gov.

When I first saw one of these advertisements, I thought it was wonderful. Truly expressing the magic that can be found in books. Being in media development I have a great respect for powerful commercials. Being a parent who likes book I have an great respect for these. Especially since the one I saw today almost made me cry. ...

The Narnia one was one that almost made me cry, and I think it was the choice of music for them. The first one I saw was the Oz Public Service Announcement and it is just as great so here it is:

And finally there is the one based on Camelot

These are beautiful pieces that will hopefully spark the imaginations of kids and set them up to be stronger readers. The full videos are also available for higher quality download at the Lifelong Literacy About page.

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Randomness Daryl Ducharme Randomness Daryl Ducharme

Sick Kids and Christmas

My wife and I figured out last night that we haven't had one Christmas season go by since our oldest son was born where we didn't have to deal with sick kids. Specifically, sick kids who require antibiotics and are not sleeping through the night because of the sickness. Meaning we don't sleep through the night because of their sickness. This explains why I've had a tough time enjoying the holiday season that last 5 years. Oh well, hopefully I'll start sleeping better next year. At least only one person in the house is sick right now :)

Whoever coined the term sleeping like a baby must have been misquoted.

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Randomness Daryl Ducharme Randomness Daryl Ducharme

Rewatching the Karate Kid

During a recent shopping trip I found a gem in the walmart video bargain bin - The Karate Kid. This is one of my young boy movies, that my wife doesn't quite understand. Some of my young movies don't stand up to the rewatching as an adult test though. The Goonies does, Top Gun sort of does, My Science Project barely does and Rad doesn't. The Karate Kid definately does and it adds more watching as an adult, and even more so as a father. In fact there are many great things about this movie, but today I'm only going to write about one. Mr. Miyagi. ...

I've heard it, and probably said it, many times, "I wish I had a Mr. Miyagi!" The movie is a great example of the importance of great mentors.

Originally posted by Mr. Miyagi:

No such thing a bad student, only bad teacher. Teacher say, student do.

What I've never heard, and I only found myself saying after rewatching the movie is, "How can I be Mr. Miyagi?" If more people ask this question of themselves then instead of saying, "I wish I had a Mr. Miyagi!" Then we will have more people saying, "My Miyagi is {insert mentor's name here}! And (s)he changed my life". We all have something to share and teach so we need to be open to the possibility of being Mr. Miyagi. And hopefully one day our own Daniel-san will make their way into our lives and allow us the joy of being the Mr. Miyagi.

Daniel: You're the best friend I've ever had. Miyagi: You pretty okay too.

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Bowling Shoes and Babies

Last month our oldest son went to a birthday party at a bowling alley. Well, actually we all went and our youngest got a kick out of wearing the bowling shoes. Because of the width of his feet we needed them to be a couple sizes larger than the smallest pair available, which were already a bit big. Video of him enjoying his big bowling shoes below. ...

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Randomness Daryl Ducharme Randomness Daryl Ducharme

Fathers' Day

To all the men who take the time to be a male role model for a child - Happy Fathers' Day.

As a son I know how much it means to have all the special times with your father.

As a father I know how much it gives you, and how much it takes, to provide those special times.

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Randomness Daryl Ducharme Randomness Daryl Ducharme

Walking Tall

For every child there are big moments. First smile, first laugh, rolling over. These are some of the early ones. One of the biggest is learning to walk. It's big because it signals the transition from infant to toddler. Yesterday, my youngest son Draegan took his first shaky steps on his own. I am very excited, as are his mom and big brother. Watching my children grow and learn is the greatest treat of being a parent.

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