Numinous, Masculine Sexuality, part 1 - Awakening my sacred masculine

Welcome the first part of metaphor 6 on my journey through the book "The Hidden Spirituality of Men - Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine" by Matthew Fox. If this is your first time reading my blog you might want to at least read the initial post on the book. You can also check out other posts in the series. Beyond that, read on. Here it is, the metaphor on sexuality. This metaphor was the most confronting to start reading. I put it off both subconsciously and consciously for about 2 weeks. At the same time, masculine sexual energy is a major reason I started looking into the men's studies movement. As a father of two boys, I kept questioning whether or not I would know how to speak powerfully to them about sex when the time comes.

Being raised in an all (powerful) female household I really never had a male figure I trusted to discuss these things with and I was already ashamed about how other men treated women. Initially, the question of masculine sexuality pulled me on this journey through the sacred masculine and I was afraid of this metaphor the most ( my ego was definitely shaking in its boots ). [ad#Google Adsense] When I finally read the chapter, I breezed through it and got a lot of information. I felt much more comfortable and saw the bigger picture of the sacredness of sexuality. When I reread it before writing this article I noticed how much I missed. Realizing that my subconscious probably zoned out on the first pass, I made an effort to take in the information inside this book.

I feel I must say one thing before moving on. This article is about sexuality as it concerns the sacred masculine. It is meant as a serious spiritual discussion. Watch where you find yourself giggling as that is where you are probably missing out sacrament of sex. Read on if you are ready.

Masculine Sexuality, Numinous Sexuality

In order to best stay true to what I got from this metaphor I will be following the sections of the chapter and use those headings. One distinction is very important for this metaphor - the distinction between spirituality and religion in regards to sexuality. Long before the religions of today, people treated sex as a spiritual experience. Many current religions treat sex as a sin.

"Our Western institutional religious tradition has essentially repressed and distorted the sexual instinct and thereby created a variety of personal and social pathologies. In doing so it has also effectively removed sexuality from its religious foundations."

Also keep in mind that

"...for most people the experience of sex is more powerful than their experience of religion."

This must be because during sex we are making a strong connection to the sacred and during religious ceremonies we may be holding some of the spiritual energies back. [ad#Books Banner]

Ancient Sacred Metaphors of Sexuality

There are ancient temples that still exist that obviously worship the male phallus. Because they still exist people get a sense of the awe. In this space of awe one has the ability to experience joy and pleasure through intercourse and other forms of sex. What must it be like to worship masculine sexual energy without shame?

Sexuality and Shame:A Western Inheritance

I've written before how much of being a man can be summed up in one word, shame. When it comes to sex it is felt by the truckload. I've grown up in the Western world where sex is considered dirty ( and that being dirty is a bad thing ). While it is generally considered okay for men to want sex, only the hunt is really accepted. The act itself, the connection to ones partner and to the universe are not given their due. As such men's stories about sex are about quantity and/or domination rather than quality and connectedness. If a man does talk about the spirituality of sex people often don't listen or if they do they believe the man to be boasting about prowess. [ad#Google Adsense] Yes, having fun with sex, enjoying it is even worse in Western culture. Which brings up another issue, roleplaying. In western culture there is some of this that occurs, but even it gets perverted to the point that the roleplaying is not used for connectedness but to create more separation. A separation between the people involved and a separation from the full experience of it. Roleplaying isn't just about wearing costumes, though that can be part of it. Its about having fun with your partner and looking for new experiences together. Its important to switch roles occasionally. Switch who's on top and who's on bottom ( both physically and metaphorically ) to make sure both people get the full experience. Passion equals play, so to keep the spark going have some fun together.

The Many Names of Sexuality

I've used the word sexuality so many times that you may have thought I was only talking about sex. There are many other names used in the book and I would like to share a few that you may not be thinking of.

• Union
• Laughter
• Joy
• Surrender
• Healing
• The Sacred Masculine
• The Divine Feminine
• Hope
• Creativity
• Music

This list is less extensive than what is in the book. In the book they also add the point that you can most likely add more of your own. So as we discuss sexuality realize that we are discussing so much more than intercourse. [ad#Books Banner]

The Lover's Revelation

Did you know that the Bible devotes and entire book to praising sexual love as divine? I didn't but the author mentioned time and again that Song of Songs does just that. Despite my less than biblical path to spirituality, I'm intrigued to see what it says.

Religions around the world have spent some if not a lot of time discussing divinity of sexual love. Why? What do we get from it? As you look closely you see that we get more than we thought. There is the connected to another person, the connectedness to the universe. I've heard a comic describe how sex is weird because a man (who usually focuses on one thing) has to focus on many things at once and a woman (who usually splits focus between many things ) has to focus on one thing. This is funny because of the truth in it ( and he had much better delivery than my writing ). It shows that through sexual love we also gain perspective.

As one studies the power of numinous sexuality one also sees the importance of mutuality. Sexual energy is shared when used positively. This also lets us see a little of the shadow energies most often associated with (masculine) sexuality. The shadow energy of sexuality comes out as domination instead of mutual physical love. Some of this shadow energy comes because of the repression of sexuality in our culture. It is such a powerful part of our spirits that it will come out. That is why it is important to embrace what it truly is so that it can flow powerfully.

Intermission

These sacred masculine posts are growing quite long, and in order to give this one enough time I am breaking it up into two parts. Part two of Numinous Masculine Sexuality will cover sperm, male infertility, sexual diversity, what heterosexuals can learn from homesexuals and how to approach sexuality as sacred. Until next week, what sorts of thoughts did this article spark for you in the realm of sacred sexuality? Does any of this ring true for you or do you think I'm barking up the wrong tree? Please leave your comments below or send a private message through this blog's contact page. [ad#Google Adsense] If you liked this post please subscribe to my RSS Feed and/or follow me on Twitter. If you only want to read my Wednesday Warrior posts subscribe to the Wednesday Warrior feed. Until next time, thanks for reading.

Awakening My Sacred Masculine - The Hunter Gatherer

The fourth metaphor to look into during my journey to awaken my sacred masculine and find the hidden spirituality of men is the Hunter Gatherer. Writing about this metaphor was tough for me because I didn't think I had anything to write. These personal journeys centered around men's studies never go like that. There is always something that comes up. I had to completely reread the chapter and be conscious of any time I read a section and have no idea what I read. Sometimes this happens because I'm distracted, but it also happens when I'm confronted by what it says. Sometimes I'm just still pondering a previous topic and wasn't yet ready to take in new information.  There is a ton to cover in this section now, so the format is different than other articles.

The Hunter Gatherer

As far as we can determine, almost all of human existence consists of humans being hunter gatherers. Only recently, historically speaking, have we changed to farming for sustenance. Even more recent is how much of our lives hide the fact that farming goes on at all.  We've move from being hunters and gatherers who must search to our food; to farmers, who are still connected to where our food comes from; to now having no idea where our food even comes from. The hunter gatherer metaphor isn't just about food though, it is about cultural difference. While it is easy to see what we have gained, there is quite a bit that we have lost.

Joy & Shame

The power of ancient tribal culture can be summed up in 2 words - joy and shame. These two things represent both, what we have lost and what we (unconsciously) carry with us from our cultural past. Both are hard wired into our masculine beings and acknowledgement of this fact is the path to understanding.  By acknowledging that shame, right or wrong, guides our lives powerfully and that enjoying ancient rituals (sometimes in new ways) is worthwhile we can make some powerful choices about who we will be. [ad#Google Adsense] Ancient rituals which center around drums, dancing and storytelling are quite easily pushed aside in civilized society. Drums are loud and annoy people, dancing makes you look like an idiot and stories need to be chopped down into bite size pieces because no one has the time to pay attention anymore. Drums are representative of rhythm. The first sound we hear is the sound of our mothers' heart, but then the noise of the world drowns out that beat. The noise of the world hasn't always been there and rhythm is our way of connecting with nature. We do this through music we love, through music we make and if we listen closely we might even hear the rhythms of life itself. Dancing is an extension of this connection. Using rhythm & dance we are connecting our cosmic bodies with our green man and mother earth. Ancient rituals of rhythm and dance were used, not only to create this connection but to tell stories.  Stories told in this way were used to pass on generational wisdom before the invention of writing.

The joy of listening is a lost art. My favorite movie - Strictly Ballroom - has a line, "Listen to the rhythm, don't be scared" that always hits home for me. This movie is especially about civilized dancing limiting a person's self expression - I highly recommend it. Listening to the world and people around us is probably the most powerful way for us to move forward as a species. How can we experience joy, though, if we feel shameful of this enjoyment?

Shame, I think that word pretty much wraps up the entirety being male. How constantly it seems to come up for me and as I read my mens' studies books, how often it comes up for others as well. Is it hard wired from our ancient heritage? In hunter gatherer societies when someone broke the laws of the tribe they weren't imprisoned, they were cast out. Without the protection and camaraderie of your fellow tribesmen life would be exceedingly tough, if you survived at all. This is how shame has become hard wired in our present day selves.

Shame is the experience of not belonging, secondary shame is the feeling of not belonging. In our present day culture it is so easy to evoke these feeling but we must be aware of the distinction between feeling and experiencing. It is minor, but it makes a big difference that will be clear as we discuss the shadow energies that show up with hunter gatherer energy in today's world. The distinction also shows up positive ways as well. One obvious, yet not very prevalent, example is in modern day spiritual warriors.

"...is it not true that authentic prophets risk shame? They too risk being expelled from the community, literally or figuratively..."

Hunter Gatherers today

All of this theory is great but how does it affect modern man? Where does it show up powerfully? What are the dangers to look out for? Hard wired tendencies can be used against us if we aren't paying attention.  So I'm going to share my thoughts on the breakdowns from the book.

The Hunt for a Mate

The hunt for a mate is ingrained in us very clearly. Take a look yourself, it is not hard to see.  The planning, the searching, the tactics, the stories of the one that got away - its all there. It is more than just the animalistic side of hunting though. There is also the creativity and observation of the hunt that comes into play. We must pay attention to our prospective mates in order to learn what works and what doesn't. Our creativity comes out in all the new things we try and ultimately in the person we create ourselves as to woo the other.

the lover is not content with superficial knowledge of the beloved, but strives for intimate discovery and even entering into the beloved -Thomas Aquinas

There is a whole metaphor on sexuality and a whole section, which I have yet to read, on sacred marriages of the masculine and feminine so we will most likely touch on this in later posts. [ad#Google Adsense]

The Quest for Scientific Understanding and Truth

Science is an art. It is inexact and precise at the same time. Science is a journey with no end, only markers along the way. This is a surprisingly spiritual focal point of modern hunter gatherer energy. That is, if we approach it as such. Science is about understanding and scientists are constantly hunting for better understanding the truths of our universe. They gather evidence of these truths through experimentation. What are we using science for? Are we solving the great mysteries and great problems of our time with science? Science allows us the ability, if we let it, to connect with father sky and our green man. It also has the ability for us to connect with the shadow energies that go along with many of these powerful metaphors. How will we, as men, use this hunting and gathering tool?

Journalism: The Hunt for the True Story

All I could think about when I read this section was (The Daily Show with) Jon Stewart. His constant gripe is with how the news is currently being covered. In many cases it isn't being covered anymore, it is being created through hype. Before news organizations realized they could make money on their news programs it was more about hunting the story to let people know what was happening. There are still people hunting the true story out there. The internet has given reporters of all levels the ability to distribute news to the masses. You do have to wade through the entertainment and opinion news that is so easy to get caught up in, but it is there. The biggest thing we can do when we listen to, watch or read the news is separate what happened from any story about what happened. The story always gets in the way of real news, but that story does bring in watchers, readers, listeners and that sells ad time/space. Please, even after you find a news source you trust, don't trust it blindly.

The Search for Spiritual Truth

The journey I am on and, if you read this far, you might be on too - is a search for spiritual truth. A friend of mine has an great quote on her facebook profile where it asks about her religious views:

gave up religion for spirituality

For me I've gone back and forth. I've looked at religions and many times I've been downright atheistic in my beliefs. Now I am sure of one thing - I don't know and there is no way I can for sure. That is why I seek what spiritual truths I can find from where ever I find them. I am a qualified skeptic about dogmatic religion and the spiritual world I sometimes find sort of hokey - but I am looking. I am looking, it is - at times - scary and that's okay. It takes something to be vulnerable in a spiritual sense.

Gathering Herbs, Seeking Cures

In many ways this is an extension of the quest for scientific understanding - but it is also something more. Many discussions with my wife lately have been about her health and how western medicine isn't working for her. Sure, it has been helpful in many ways but in some it just misses the mark. Seeking cures is more than treating symptoms. In fact it is something entirely different. Western medicine attempts to break diseases down into small parts and affect it that way. This works on certain things, but misses the mark on others. Alternative medicine, often eastern medicine approaches healing differently.  Looking at the body as a whole instead of just a sum of parts. That is why it is called holistic medicine. The cures we seek, though are not down one path or the other. We must look down both paths and possibly more to find the cures we seek. We must strive to understand the body even more to understand how to heal it. Our bodies are amazing machines, it's best not to underestimate them.

Putting Bread on the Table: Hunting for Work

I feel this one. Ever since my wife quit her paying job to start homeschooling our kids I have felt it. My wife is great with managing our money, which also has me feel it because I'm under no illusions that we have any more than we actually do. This is the modern form of hunter gatherer energy in its purest form. In tribal cultures you choices were given by how to provide for your family. However it touched on more in this section. In ancient tribal cultures ( and some modern tribal cultures ) a family you provided for wasn't nuclear it was extended. How do my daily efforts provide for my community? And why do I spend so much time away from my family/community working to provide for them? These questions may not have exact answers but they can be part of a journey towards fulfilling work. I remember when Ralph Nader was running for president in 2008 and he was looking for people to work on his campaign ( both paid and volunteers ) he talked about being able to take your conscience with you to work. I think that's important, lest we drain our spiritual energy.

Going deeper though, if we create societies where people have to take jobs that drain their spiritual energy, just to survive, we do them and our communities a disservice. People have a desire to be useful, they want to contribute. First and foremost they want to survive. That is why, if we are privileged to have opportunities others don't, making a difference for the types of jobs people have access to is a very worthy cause. In dire economic times, like the ones we are in now, this is even more important. It is easy to be seduced by corporations that pollute indiscriminately, have unfair labor practices, steal from the tax payers and more when they are promising so many paying jobs. Just remember, entrepreneurs with a stake in the community and a positive approach to running a business can create better, more fulfilling jobs at less spiritual, environmental and economic cost to the community. It's a tough road to walk in times like these, but we'd do much better with a strong foundation than with jobs built on despair.

Hunting, and Listening for, the Muse

I've been a performing artist, perhaps not a great one, for most of my life. The times when I have been most prolific, most successful I have been tapping into my hunter gatherer energies. As a musician, as a wrestler, as a performer in general and most recently as a magician you have to keep looking for inspiration. It is the times when I've stopped looking for inspiration that I have often quit or at the very least hit a lull. Some times you need to fake it 'til you make it. Inspiration isn't coming to you, it is out in the wild to be found.

About 4 years ago I retired from wrestling and shelved my creative performing talents for a while. About a year ago, I decided to get into the world of magic as my new performance outlet. It has been a bumpy ride. Magic isn't easy! Then again, neither is music or wrestling but I did those. I've contemplated shelving this idea but at the same time I forced myself to stay in the world of magic. I am now my magic club's sergeant at arms and I took over for someone who didn't show up to many meetings - this kept me working. Recently I realized my problem, I wasn't performing. I wasn't performing because I'm so used to performing on stage ( or in a ring ) and my magic isn't ready for that. Thanks to some videos and articles that I have been reading lately I realized that a magical performance can be as small as one trick performed for one person. I've been performing more and my excitement is growing. I'm hot on the trail of my muse.

Searching and Learning as an End in Itself

Turning our hunter gatherer energies inward has us hunt for wisdom. How do we gain this wisdom? If any of you have read this far, do you have a degree? If you have a degree are you using it at work? Are you using it in other facets of life? In what ways are you self taught? In what ways have you learned from others, but not in an educational environment? These are important questions to ask because education in western culture has been perverted. Skills used to be taught, not by lectures but by master craftsman passing down their crafts. New skills created by experimentation, failure and perseverance. As universities and colleges sprang up they added to our ability to learn by teaching at a different level. Then public education added even more, giving the people the ability to learn some of the basics in a structured way. At some point we started to rely on these new sources of learning too much. Colleges and Universities became the only way to show you had skill in many more fields than ever before - and for many leaving college skills were not tempered with wisdom that comes from experimentation and failure. As less families had the ability for at least one elder to stay at home and help guide learning, public education became more of a surrogate for their teaching. Many other things have happened and our education system ( at least in the US ) is a shambles. We've begun teaching to tests because they are easier to measure than teaching creativity and problem solving which will help the community as a whole later in life. Parents look at teachers less as partners and more as adversaries. When parents make the ultimate commitment and home school their children society questions their ability at every turn - only because it is different than the norm for today.

What's the answer? First, we need to recognize that wisdom isn't easily tested for on paper. It is better tested for in problem solving and decision making, choices that come up in real life. We also need to remember that children can learn - a lot - given the correct stimulus. They want to learn, it is actually fun. The joy of learning is a lifelong skill that we should encourage. That way, people can learn when they are ready, not remember when they are told to. I'm reminded of a quote that was in the book Seventeen Traditions by Ralph Nader. In it, Ralph comes home from school and his dad asks, "What did you learn in school today? Did you learn how to believe or did you learn how to think?". What's the difference? That distinction is the difference between education and wisdom.

Sports: Hunter-Gatherers At Play

This should be pure hunter gatherer energy, but it is so perverted. Some sports are even the act of hunting or fishing and the energy is most often the shadow form, not the true form of of this masculine energy. Sports have been perverted because competition has become more about winning then the competition itself. I've had many arguments with my wife that revolve around this fact. How can we raise 2 boys the way we want and involve them in competitive sports. Due to many of the positive experiences I have had and the spiritual journeys I have been on as an adult I see a possibility. Competition should not be about winning but should involve the whole hearted attempt to win within the confines of the rules/game. If all participants are doing their best and pushing themselves toward the goal of winning without the requirement to win then everybody gains from the experience. Skills increase, teams get more cohesive and once the competition is over you can honor your opponent. In actual hunting and fishing this honoring of your opponent is seen in many native american traditions of thanking the animal's spirit. For other sports, actually thanking the person is a good start.

There is always the shadow though. There is always the person whose identity is so wrapped up in winning that to lose is the ultimate blow to their ego. How do we raise young men to compete with these people and still get a positive experience from it? They will still reap the benefits of being pushed to their limits in order to win. What about cheating to win? When winning is more important than the sport itself what does it cost us as a culture? Keep this in mind when we discuss the hunter gatherer energy in business ( and really all areas ).

This rather large section of this chapter also discussed the nature of the spectator in modern sports. In some ways spectators hearken back to traditional costumes and dance of tribal hunter gatherer society. It is one safe way men get to enjoy costumes, dance and storytelling ( and don't I know as a wrestler :) ). The shadow energy of spectators is when people only consume sports ( and entertainment ) without creating or being a part of sport themselves. Modern culture makes it easy to watch sports all day and play coach from your couch. This energy feeds the other shadow energy that needs to win at any cost. Keep in mind, hunter gatherers did so to provide for their tribal community and were recognized for what they provided. What are we recognizing them our athletes for and what are they providing us?

The Role of the Automobile

I felt that this section really covered a specific issue that is covered by many of the others quite well. While it makes some good points, I think our love of the automobile has been taught to us by some pretty expensive commercials.

Hunting and Hiking

Hunting should be pure, but modern hunting rarely resembles ancient hunting in any way. Hunters find most of their food at the store and if they don't succeed in hunting it doesn't keep them from eating. Technology favors the hunter nowadays. I'm not going to say that hunting still isn't dangerous or difficult but things have gotten much easier from the days of hunter gathering tribes. For some though, hunting isn't about the kill. For some hunting and fishing are excuses for getting closer to nature in an acceptable activity. How many people do you know who spend whole days fishing, don't catch anything and come home happier than before. That is why the author connected hunting with hiking. Hiking is another way that one can get closer to nature, enjoy solitude or camaraderie as they choose and enjoy the sounds, smells, sights and more of the world around them.

Business

In the modern world business is more clearly hunter gatherer energy than sports and hunting combined ( technically they are anyway ). These people use the energy and skills of a hunter gatherer to find customers, partners, advertisers and they do make an impact in their community. Because of this we recognize them for what they provide the community. We must ask if it is alway justified. In shadow energy of business that is pure greed they have learned to use our hunter gatherer instincts against us - or rather for themselves. The word need no longer means necessity and instead means it will give you status in the community and thus is collapsed with want. It is not to say that the hunt for stuff we want does not have its place, but we must make sure it is not just an addiction to stuff. [ad#Google Adsense]

Addiction

Addiction shows off the pure form of hunter gatherer shadow energy. We have already discussed in sports how some people become addicted to winning. But addiction is almost reverse hunter gatherer energy. The addicted are actually hunted by their addictions. Try as they might they must constantly be on guard against their addiction which always seems to find them. Consider a drug addict who both hides their addiction ( at least at first ) and gets their fix despite the odds. Are they the hunter or the prey and who is the victor. Luckily, any addictions I might have both don't seem very strong or very destructive - but that doesn't give me much experience to write from. Also, I haven't had to deal with addictions from the people in my life so that is a bonus as well.

Hunters For Justice: Spiritual Warriors

I've made a couple references to Ralph Nader in this post. From my vantage point and during my lifetime he is a true hunter for justice. The quote from earlier about shame and spiritual warriors, "...is it not true that authentic prophets risk shame? They too risk being expelled from the community, literally or figuratively..." made me think of him the first and subsequent times I read it. Others might see Gandhi, Jesus, Malcolm X or Martin Luther King Jr. They were all mentioned in the book and rightly so. These people weren't looking to belong to the world as it was, they already belonged to the world as it should be. In that space they felt no shame in being who they had to be to make people look at the injustices around them.

Another important distinction is the distinction between a warrior and a soldier. That distinction will be made clearer as I discuss the next metaphor which is all about spiritual warriors. Warriors go into battle, while soldiers are sent. Warriors fight because they love and soldiers fight because they are told to. How can we raise more spiritual warriors? Perhaps this will become clear during the discussion of the next metaphor.

Conclusion

In rereading this metaphor and ensuring comprehension I have gained quite a bit from this metaphor. I gained solid wisdom to speak on topics I may have felt timid to talk about before. I've gained, most likely, my longest blog post to date. I'm not sure that's a good thing but I hope many people can glean some wisdom from the words I have written here. It is my hope that by writing as much as I have and asking as many questions as I have along the way I will get more input from others on the same journey as I.

If you have gotten this far, thanks for reading. I can be long winded at times.

Awakening My Sacred Masculine - Icarus and Daedalus

This post is about the 3rd metaphor and follow up to my post about The Hidden Spirituality of Men - Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine.  In that original post I said I would share my journey of reading this book.  This is another part of that journey. Icarus and Daedalus

The metaphor of Icarus and Daedalus is actually more of an anti-metaphor.  Instead of being a vision of what could be the story of Icarus and Daedalus is a lesson of what happens when sons don't  learn from a father's wisdom and a father doesn't pay enough attention to his son to understand him.  I'm simplifying of course but this lesson, this anti-metaphor is about the importance of generational wisdom.  The fathers have wisdom to teach the youth but they must also learn from the youth while letting the youth fly.

I find that learning from my young boys is easy, or rather watching them learn is.  It is amazing.  However, I often find myself stuck in my own world - my own issues - and I don't take the time to be with my kids and enjoy how they experience the world.  On the flip side, I am also someone's child as well.  I didn't see my father much growing up and I still don't see much of him.  I know that I have been on a search for some generational knowledge for a long time though.  My love of the French language and culture comes from the bit of my heritage that is easy to see - a French last name.  However there is another area of heritage from my father's side that I don't know much about.  It is the part of me that is a 1/4 native.

This metaphor actually holds a little bit of pain for me.  On the one side, I don't really know much about my heritage from my father's side.  I've dug a few things up here and there but my dad isn't much of a talker.  On the other side I'm afraid I'm becoming a non-talker for my sons as well.  When I come home from work I usually need a good amount of depressurizing before I can really focus on the family. I know from some of my other men's studies journeys that I am not alone in this though. In fact, that is probably why this metaphor came up as an anti-metaphor lesson.  It is easy to be Daedalus, but what are we going to do to give our Icarus the means to fly without melting his wings and falling into the sea.

I have had some small successes.  There have been some times since reading this chapter where I was aware enough to consciously choose to be with my kids and have a good time.  The other day my son had a birthday and one thing he got was a lego set.  He's had the the larger versions of lego in the past but this was his first actual lego set.  He was excited and started to work on them by himself but he asked me if I would help him.  I  told him, "maybe in a few minutes" then went downstairs.  I thought about how I liked legos when I was a kid but was never any good at them.  I knew I could do much better now and that the reason I wasn't that great growing up was I didn't have anyone helping me learn how to use them.  So I went upstairs and played lego with my son.  We had fun and he did a great job following the directions with only a little assistance from dear old dad.  I was very proud of him.

He has since kept going back to the lego set to build other things when he wants to do something by himself and he is very patient with them.  Anyone who has a 6 year old knows that having patience with anything is a big deal.  This metaphor may have some spiritual pain associated with it but it may also have one of the largest payoffs.

Awakening my sacred masculine - The Green Man

This post is about the 2nd metaphor and follow up to my post about The Hidden Spirituality of Men - Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine.  In that original post I said I would share my journey of reading this book.  This is another part of that journey. The Green Man

In mens' studies the Green Man is easily seen through the story of Iron John.  In spirituality there are many different stories and references to the green man.  Where modern man tries to control nature, the green man works with nature.  He is one with nature to the point that some stories make the green man out to BE nature.  The green man is a steward who cares for mother earth and knows that she will take care of him in return. [ad#Google Adsense] As a member of the Green Party, I have already begun to explore my Green Man.  However, even that is pretty recent and I've always been more of a tech guy so there is quite a bit of room for spiritual growth for me in this area.  For me this metaphor pulls me to my native heritage that I have ignored for too long.  It reminded me of how touched I was when I read Brother Eagle, Sister Sky to my sons.  It is a story based around a message from Chief Seattle before he agreed to "sell" land to the US.  The whole message is great but the end sums it up well:

So if we sell you our land, love it as we've loved it. Care for it as we’ve cared for it. Hold in your mind the memory of the land as it is when you take it. And with all your strength, with all your mind, with all your heart, preserve it for your children. and love it . . . as God loves us all.

One thing we know. Our God is the same God. This earth is precious to him. Even the white man cannot be exempt from the common destiny. We may be brothers after all. We shall see.

With that in mind I found a way to get closer to my green man - running.  I have never been a runner.  I have started and stopped a few times. This chapter gave me something else to focus on while I run.  Something I have read from many sources.  So I started running with the couch to 5k (c25k) program.  I did indeed get closer to the earth as I ran.  I reveled in the calm mornings where I could marvel at natures bounty around me.  However this also connected me to Father Sky - something unexpected.  Father Sky and Mother Earth stories often tell that they were connected by a tree that was cut down at some point.  As I ran I would find myself following the trees up to the sky.  Then of course, breathing is so important when running and air the the domain of Father Sky.  Running also has me more connected my body as I run and the way it feels as a result.  The cosmic body is another metaphor that I will cover in another post.  To top it all off, the time I spend running is time to ponder the thoughts of what I have recently read.

Beyond just connecting, I have paid more attention to the events of the day.  I've begun questioning how much I limit my involvement in anything that affects our planet.  Little by little I have been checking myself to make sure I am fighting for what I believe in rather than stand by and do nothing.  I am reminded of something I heard during the 2008 election season,"To know and to not act is not to know."  I'm starting to understand the reality of that statement now.  It is the value of a spiritual warrior - another metaphor to be discussed in a later post.  The Green Man has been the seed that has sprouted and grown towards other spiritual masculine metaphors.

I have now read all 10 metaphors from the book and I am going to focus on writing a post on each of the metaphors before going on the the the part of the book.  The next part of the book is about sacred marriages - connections of the sacred masculine and the divine feminine.  I'm looking forward to those discussion as well so I should be making posts fairly quickly.

Awakening my sacred masculine - a powerful dream.

I've always approached my study of masculinity as a journey.  Many visions occur to me every time I read a men's studies book.  Some are dark and others are mysterious.  Either way these visions are powerful and often come in a dream.  Reading "The Hidden Spirituality of Men – Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine" has been no different.  Last night I had a dream that I knew was part of my journey.

The dream and the conclusions I come to are related to chapters I have not discussed yet.  I will try to share enough to explain the references.

The following dream actually came on a night when I fell asleep attempting to connect with "The Blue Man" metaphor described in the book. The dream is simple - I'm in charge of an alternative school of some sort that is being shut down by someone who has sent in soldiers to apprehend me. At this point I have the thought that if I can just get in a room and close the door they won't be able to get to me. I make my way down the hall towards my office. Finally, I reached my office and closed the door. Feeling safe from the soldiers, I look out the window. All the parents and teachers are standing outside in a group. They are standing in support of the school and me. They may be singing but I don't really hear anything. At this point my wife asks me the question,"Why are they shutting down the school?" My answer was this,"because Michael Jackson is running the music department and my second in command/right hand man is a woman or maybe I should say my right hand woman is a man." (I was trying to say my second is command was a gay man).

I don't remember anything else after that. When I woke up I just knew it was an important dream. I started wondering if I needed to open up some type of school.

After my run this morning I had a chance to discuss the dream with my wife and as I did many things became clear.  This dream did not say I needed to run a school but it was full of metaphors directly related to chapters of the book I had recently read.  First, the soldiers.  There is a distinction in the chapter on Spiritual Warriors between soldiers and warriors.  Soldiers do what they are ordered to do and warriors are instead guided by their values and their hearts.  The fact that soldiers were doing what they were ordered to do but did not have the heart to break through a simple door is not suprising.  Then there is group of parents and teachers who were standing up for me and the school.  This is my community, who are a stand for me to succeed in running my school.  My school is men's studies and Daryl Joseph Ducharme studies for that matter.  Seeing my blue man, I was studying the difference I could create in the world.

Then we come to the reason's anyone would want to shut such an important school down.  First there is having Michael Jackson as the musical director.  One chapter on the body began to discuss chakras.  The first chakra, located in the tailbone ( called the sacrum which literally means sacred bone ) is about vibration.  In discussing this chakra the sub chakras in the knees and the feet were discussed.  This brought up the importance of dance in connecting with Gaia.  So many religions throughout time relate dance with the sacred.  For my generation there was none more recognized for dance than Michael.  In fact, he was in my mind throughout the discussion about dance.  What about my second in command they didn't like because he was gay?  That came directly from the chapter on numinous sexuality.  In the middle section of this long chapter the discussion revolved around the spiritual connections that homosexuals tend to have.  In fact, many native tribes revered homesexuals as spiritual leaders.  While I have never considered myself homophobic, I realized there was a part of me that was.  It was the part that decides I didn't want to do something because maybe I didn't think it was masculine enough.  By cutting myself off from these experiences I cut myself off from the sacred and the spiritual essence of my masculinity.  Well no more.  Now I will allow myself to have experiences that will have me live life.

This dream was an awesome experience.  In the past, I have had dreams related to whatever ontological journey I was currently undergoing.  Almost always they have had a very dark nature to them.  This dream, while it had a dark nature, gave me more hope than any of the dreams I have had in the past.  It inspired me.  As I delve into the chapters that this dream touched on I will discuss these references even more.  I had to get the dream down while I still remembered it.

Awakening my sacred masculine - Father Sky

This post is my first follow up to my post about The Hidden Spirituality of Men - Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine.  In that previous post I said I would share my journey of reading this book.  This is part of that journey. The book itself is split up into 2 parts.  The first part, Ten Archetypes of Authentic Masculinity, covers the 10 metaphors alluded to in the book's title.  As I read this part of the book I will be making a posts related to each metaphor.  These posts won't be reviews of the chapters as much as they will be my own personal visions and conclusions gained from reading the metaphors.  At this time I have already read the sections on the first 5 metaphors so I may relate to some of the other metaphors.  This is expected, as these metaphors of masculinity are strongly linked.

Father Sky: The Cosmos Lives!

Father Sky is the partner of Mother Earth.  Religions have often placed the sky ( or heavens ) as the home to the gods.  Father sky is the air we breathe and the vacuum of space that is the universe beyond our planet's atmosphere.  Father sky is an obvious, but in modern times elusive, spiritual metaphor.

This first chapter didn't call to me as much from just reading it.  There was one suggested made in the chapter that I took, and that was to take a look at the Worldwide Telescope by Microsoft Research. This website has an tool ( both online and downloadable ) that combines images and data from telescopes around the world to give you an amazing view of space.  I spent a good chunk of time just looking around at all the different heavenly bodies available to me through this tool.

After using the worldwide telescope, I had a greater connection to father sky in the rest of my daily lives.  I recently started a running program, called Couch to 5K (C25K) out of both a desire to run and have a greater connection the The Green Man ( the 2nd metaphor ).  On my first run, I got connected more with my green man but I feel that I could finally see father sky.  I run in the mornings and the moon was still in the sky.  Instead of running with my head down, my head was up and I was aware of all the trees which reach up to connect the earth to the sky and the birds as they soar.  As I type this, I think I will pay more attention to my breathing while running as well.  After all, father sky represents all that is in the sky including the air.

This chapter also reminded me of something I remember seeing in the past.  I remember that a native tribe in Washington had been given the right to punish a teen through their own traditions.  This meant putting him, alone, on a small island for a length of time.  One of the elders was talking to him about praying.  He told him not to bow down and avert his eyes from the spirits above, instead he should look up and open his arms to father sky so that he may be connected to him.

The first metaphor, by itself did not make as big of an impression on me as some of the others already have.  However, in connecting with father sky I have gained connections that I have not had in a long time.  I once again look at the sky with awe.  The stars and the planets, the clouds and wind are all a part of me again.  In a world that tries to keep us grounded it is important to stay connected with the stars.

The next metaphor is The Green Man.  As I have already read that chapter I will be writing that one soon.  Until then, what does father sky mean to you and/or the men in your life?

The Hidden Spirituality of Men - Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine

The men's movement and men's studies aren't exactly mainstream topics.  However, over the past few years I have been slowly working my way through a few books on just that.  Last Christmas I recieved 2 books. While reading the first, a lot of heavy things came up for me that lead me to take a break from reading the second.  Now I am ready, so I have recently started to read "The Hidden Spirituality of Men - Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine." I first heard about this book from an article in Ode magazine ( a magazine for intelligent optimists ). What they showed was an excerpt that turns out to be from the book's forward.  I'd like to share a specific part of this book as well, in the hopes that some might join me on this journey.  By the way this excerpt is used without permission.

Why have men, to greater and lesser degrees, "hidden" their spiritual ives? The reasons are almost endless, but often each man's reasons interlock in a tight web that keeps spirituality unacknowledged and unexpressed.  Here are just a few:

• Because Western culture is still a dualistic patriarchy that values thinking over feeling, material wealth over spiritual, scientific fact over intuitive knowledge, men over women, and heterosexuals over homosexuals.
• Because men are rarely rewarded and often mocked, for openly expressing their deepest feelings of joy, sensitivity, and pain.
• Because many men carry wounds inside they would rather forget or put aside than admit are there.
• Because modern religions are out of touch with their mystical traditions, whose language and concepts help us cope with our deepest experiences, our "dark nights of the soul."
• Because often spiritual truth and understandings defy language and live in silence, and what is not lassoed by words is considered secret and kep hidden.
• Because men, who are "not supposed to cry," learn to hide their grief as well as their joy.
• Because in times of war, governments do not welcome the authentic, questioning spirituality of warriors, but want the religious obedience of soldiers.
• Because our anthropocentric culture puts more value on human life, needs, and ruls than in connecting humbly to the vast cosmos.
• Because men sometimes work so hard that they do not have time or space for exploring their hearts.
• Because, in an attempt to respect the women's movement, some men feel compelled to silence themselves and hid any "unacceptable" maleness.
• Because homophobia robs men of their capacity to relate deeply to other men.  Even men who overcome homophobia must often keep this secret in an excessively heterosexist culture.
• Because men sometimes confuse religion and spirituality, and in the process run from their own journey with Spirit.
• Because men lack rites of passage that demarcate movement from boyhood to adulthood, and such rituals that modern religions maintain, such as confirmation and bar mitzvah, fail to do the job.
• Because our culture more often rewards men for their extroverted rather than their introverted sides.
• Because there may be a hiddenness about all spirituality. What is deep is hidden, and a spiritual journey explores the "unnameable" aspects of Divinity, the Godhead behind God.
• Because many men are mystics but lack the vocabulary to name what they experience.
• Because "men learn only through ritual" ( Robert Bly ) and substantive rituals are hard to come by in modern culture.
• Because men want to hide their shame and aggression or at least hide from them.
• Because communication between boys and fathers is often cold or nonexistent in our culture, and too many elders "retire" to the golf course rather than mentor younger generations.
• Because fatherless homes offer few role models for young men to emulate.
• Because an "original sin ideology" makes men doubt their beauty and right to be here, and teachings about God as a punitive Father create a toxic, punitive role model.
• Because men don't know how -- and are not trained -- to deal with their anger and outrage in healthy ways.
• Because men, like all humans, can be lazy and will avoid the hard work of spiritual exploration if they can.
• Because cynicism, depression, and exhaustion can make soul work seem pointless or overwhelming.

I plan on sharing what I get out of reading this book in a hope that it will help others understand men and/or themselves better. However, I am not a scholarly writer so my words may not be as eloquent as those in the book. So if you want to join me on this expedition into the depths of masculinity it might be best to bring along a good book.