I've always approached my study of masculinity as a journey. Many visions occur to me every time I read a men's studies book. Some are dark and others are mysterious. Either way these visions are powerful and often come in a dream. Reading "The Hidden Spirituality of Men – Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine" has been no different. Last night I had a dream that I knew was part of my journey.
The dream and the conclusions I come to are related to chapters I have not discussed yet. I will try to share enough to explain the references.
The following dream actually came on a night when I fell asleep attempting to connect with "The Blue Man" metaphor described in the book. The dream is simple - I'm in charge of an alternative school of some sort that is being shut down by someone who has sent in soldiers to apprehend me. At this point I have the thought that if I can just get in a room and close the door they won't be able to get to me. I make my way down the hall towards my office. Finally, I reached my office and closed the door. Feeling safe from the soldiers, I look out the window. All the parents and teachers are standing outside in a group. They are standing in support of the school and me. They may be singing but I don't really hear anything. At this point my wife asks me the question,"Why are they shutting down the school?" My answer was this,"because Michael Jackson is running the music department and my second in command/right hand man is a woman or maybe I should say my right hand woman is a man." (I was trying to say my second is command was a gay man).
I don't remember anything else after that. When I woke up I just knew it was an important dream. I started wondering if I needed to open up some type of school.
After my run this morning I had a chance to discuss the dream with my wife and as I did many things became clear. This dream did not say I needed to run a school but it was full of metaphors directly related to chapters of the book I had recently read. First, the soldiers. There is a distinction in the chapter on Spiritual Warriors between soldiers and warriors. Soldiers do what they are ordered to do and warriors are instead guided by their values and their hearts. The fact that soldiers were doing what they were ordered to do but did not have the heart to break through a simple door is not suprising. Then there is group of parents and teachers who were standing up for me and the school. This is my community, who are a stand for me to succeed in running my school. My school is men's studies and Daryl Joseph Ducharme studies for that matter. Seeing my blue man, I was studying the difference I could create in the world.
Then we come to the reason's anyone would want to shut such an important school down. First there is having Michael Jackson as the musical director. One chapter on the body began to discuss chakras. The first chakra, located in the tailbone ( called the sacrum which literally means sacred bone ) is about vibration. In discussing this chakra the sub chakras in the knees and the feet were discussed. This brought up the importance of dance in connecting with Gaia. So many religions throughout time relate dance with the sacred. For my generation there was none more recognized for dance than Michael. In fact, he was in my mind throughout the discussion about dance. What about my second in command they didn't like because he was gay? That came directly from the chapter on numinous sexuality. In the middle section of this long chapter the discussion revolved around the spiritual connections that homosexuals tend to have. In fact, many native tribes revered homesexuals as spiritual leaders. While I have never considered myself homophobic, I realized there was a part of me that was. It was the part that decides I didn't want to do something because maybe I didn't think it was masculine enough. By cutting myself off from these experiences I cut myself off from the sacred and the spiritual essence of my masculinity. Well no more. Now I will allow myself to have experiences that will have me live life.
This dream was an awesome experience. In the past, I have had dreams related to whatever ontological journey I was currently undergoing. Almost always they have had a very dark nature to them. This dream, while it had a dark nature, gave me more hope than any of the dreams I have had in the past. It inspired me. As I delve into the chapters that this dream touched on I will discuss these references even more. I had to get the dream down while I still remembered it.