Warrior Training - The New Man Podcast

The journey of my spiritual warrior started and still lives in men's studies. Along the way I have found many articles, blogs and people who have helped me find my way. One person I've found is Tripp Lanier and more importantly his New Man Podcast. I have an on again off again relationship with the New Man Podcast. The reason I've listened to it on and off is not because it is mediocre. It is because the podcast is so very confronting. With the subtitle of "Beyond the Macho Jerk and the New Age Jerk" the podcast gets to the real heart of what it takes for a man to live a powerful life. If you've never looked into mens studies and don't think you need to take a listen. I promise, you'll be surprised.

Each podcast usually has Tripp interviewing a guest who has something to offer men on their own personal journeys or women trying to understand them. Actually, much of this could probably help women in their own lives as well.

The most recent episode had Tripp Lanier interviewing author Steven Pressfield about resistance and self sabatoge.

[ad#Google Adsense] Tripp Lanier not only has this podcast but he also has his consulting business for those willing to really take their lives to the next level. I have been tempted many times to look into it but I've still found myself unwilling to play that big of a game. Don't be surprised if that changes in the near future. However you might want to first check out "The New Manual." [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izTI5qKFJIo&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] Have any of you listened to Tripp Lanier? What are your thoughts? Are there other leaders in the mens movement you like listening to? I'd love to hear your comments and stories below. Thanks.

This Warrior's Troubled Journey

As I begin writing in my blog again I realize there has, for a long time, been a large hole in the middle of the week. My Wednesday Warrior posts have been lacking greatly. In 2010 only 3 posts were under this category and I have a feeling I know why. In an effort to change the direction of these powerful posts I would like to share the reasons I used to keep myself from writing what are usually such intimate posts.

Rough Waters In The Job Market

I had a successful 2010. I increased my value as well as finally moving into games programming and back to the west coast. However with that came great turmoil. January of 2010 saw me move my family from Wilmington to Chapel Hill, NC to work in Social Game development. That company got bought by Playdom in March and Playdom got bought by Disney in August. While my job survived the acquisition by Playdom it only lasted a few months after the acquisition by Disney. I was able to take the opportunity to find a new job on the other side of the country working with Gaia Interactive. Its a great gig and all has ended up well. So why did this stop me?

First on the list is me just trying to manage it all - and with a positive outlook. Writing these posts tend to bring buried emotions to the surface. This is usually a good thing. During this time I just didn't want to face those emotions. Second on the list is guilt. Everything continued to work out fine for me and other people are completely out of work and not having the luck I did. What did I have to complain about?

The truth is I am in the same bucket as everyone else right now. Worried about the security of my job. How stable is it? What will it mean if I lose my job? That meaning got even stronger with the other big storm that came through my life last year - health issues.

Health and the Family

My wife and I had been through a lot financially, and we've made ends meet with very little as we've had to. The job thing wouldn't have worried us as much if it weren't for the bombshell that dropped in May. Our 4 year old got diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. All the sudden having stable, good health insurance became an all encompassing worry that hit me hard.

Context: Parenting with Type 1 Diabetes

I'm guessing people reading this don't know much about dealing with type 1 diabetes, because I didn't until I HAD TO. My wife and I have to check his blood sugar several ( read 5-7 or more if things are wacky ) times a day. This includes the multiple times in the middle of the night because we don't want him to run high all night and do long term damage or worse have him go really low and not wake up in the morning. We manage his blood sugar through injections of insulin ( we now have an insulin pump thank goodness ) throughout the day. There are no days off for this. This is our Monday through Saturday, weekends and holidays too. Traveling? We must remember the diabetes supplies, emergency glucagon injection, drinks and snacks to get the blood sugar up if need be. Of course we need to remember the stuff other parents have to remember too. [End Rant]

So I went along and I was coping, or so I thought. I was now running on similar sleep to when the kids were first born fairly consistently and I was getting worried about the stability of my studio so I was looking into other options. I guess the worry of this came crashing down on me one night when I had my first ever anxiety attack ( I thought it was more dire ) and went to the emergency room in the middle of the night.

It turns out my all the tests showed I was perfectly healthy except for one thing they wanted me to get checked out with my doctor, low blood platelets. Long story shortened, I ended up seeing a hematologist because this wasn't an errant reading. Normal range for platelets is between 150K and 400K and at one point while measured I was as low as 12K. The danger of low platelets is that your blood doesn't clot so you end up losing a lot of blood - especially if you have internal bleeding that you don't know about. Luckily I had decent health insurance with Playdom and it payed for the majority of a very expensive set of infusions ( well one is still outstanding but it should be covered ) that put me back in the normal range just before I got a new job and moved across country.

Do you know the way to San Jose?

In December of 2010 I knew my position at Playdom was going away and rather than get moved into a different position with the uncertainties of how long that would last I did something crazy and took a job in San Jose, CA working with Gaia Interactive. I started the week before New years. I can say this, the change has been really good. I love the job and I'm already loving the area but moving is a huge burden I don't want to do for a long time. Remember those health problems I spoke of? Well, it took some time to get records sent and new doctors set up for the family. I'm still having problems getting the hospital to send my records to a new hematologist so I can make sure my blood platelets are doing well - we think they sent my son's records instead. Getting my oldest in school took quite some time because of the doctors issues and California has some requirements that North Carolina didn't. I spent the first month splitting my time between work ( learning the code base mostly ) and finding a house for us to rent. My wife was still in NC so I was looking without her and relaying as much info, pictures and video as I could. That was very worrisome, especially as our move date got closer, but in the end it looks like we found an amazing house with a great people as landlords. As you can imagine, there was much more to the move than these things but those are the ones that stick in my mind as the big stressors.

2011 and beyond

Now that I am settled ( mostly ), what is the plan for the future. Well, that will come out through future Wednesday Warrior posts. The point is, with the air cleared, I am ready to create in the warrior space again. I hope this post will help other warriors see that the path is not an easy one but if you live your life through love and commitment your inner warrior has the strength to see thing through.

I have already begun some personal quests for my inner warrior and I will sharing those in upcoming posts. Also, my new home has centralized me to some great sanctuaries for personal growth. I will share those as well.

Do you have a rough journey you have been or are currently on? I'd love to hear about it. Post it in the comments or post a link to your own post in the comments below. Until then, stay strong and love on.

Earth Father - awakening my sacred masculine

The 9th metaphor in the book The Hidden Spiruality of Men - Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine is titled earth father. For me my journey into men's studies and down the spiritual path of the sacred masculine comes from asking questions about being a father. In my first post on numinous masculine sexuality I discussed how sexuality and questioning how to raise 2 boys to not be ashamed of sex like I was (and still am somewhat) was a major catalyst for this exploration. Between my first steps, in the book Fire in The Belly and currently these Wednesday Warrior posts I focused on much more of what it means to be masculine and that has guided me quite well on my fatherhood journey.

Earth Father - sacred masculine central

Fatherhood is central to the sacred masculine. From this book alone you can see how it is linked to each of the other 9 metaphors:

• Father Sky - Also a father metaphor, father sky is more distant than the Earth Father. One must not forget the importance of solitude and space in masculinity/fatherhood which Father Sky provides.
• The Green Man - This one is linked as another earth metaphor. Earth Father is grounded, much like the Green Man. Being a good steward of our planet is a great way to provide for our children and our children's children.
• Icarus and Daedalus - Another father metaphor, or a rather a parable to learn from. Fathers must not only be willing to teach their children, but learn from them as well.
• Hunter-Gatherers - In modern society this is hard to see. Where are the rites of passage from boyhood to manhood ? How can we as men create the important psychological and spiritual aspects of these for our children?
• Spiritual Warriors - As a father, what do we fight for? What do we value? We reap what we sow in regards to the Spiritual Warrior's connection to the Earth Father. We must lead by example.
• Masculine Sexuality, Numinous Sexuality - I do not want my sons to learn that sex = shame. I want them to be powerful individuals in all aspects of their lives.
• Our Cosmic and Animal Bodies - As fathers how do we take care of our bodies? Our children's? Once again, leading by example has us teach our children respect for themselves.
• The Blue Man - In all the trials and tribulations of fathering, there must be compassion, there must be a loving heart.
• Grandfather Sky:The Grandfatherly Heart - The father begets the grandfather, 'nuff said :)

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Earth Father - not just for fathers

While the earth father and fathering are central to the sacred masculine they do not refer only to literal fatherhood. Literal fatherhood is just the most obvious place to access it. In a post ( or two ) on my old blog I discussed Mr. Miyagi from the Karate Kid. No one would say that there is not an earth father being portrayed in those films and yet he is not a literal father. A powerful force, the mentor. The mentor spreads earth father energy out into the community. Perhaps you have a memory of a teacher that became your mentor at one point. They are out there and you can be one too. It doesn't take much but time and caring, but mostly caring.

Paternal energy doesn't stop with men either. The earth father's paternal energy can be tapped into by women ( and is ) in the same way that men can tap into the earth mother's maternal energy. A literal father and literal mother both tap into paternal and maternal energies, it takes both to raise a child.

Being a stand for the community

The Earth Father takes a look at the world he is leaving for his children, and his children's children, and strives to make it the best he can make it for them. To do this he must stand for his community and in his community. Helping others and helping the environment are the keys. For a while I've been wondering if I could find a mens group in my area. Recently I've actually thought about the possibility of actually being the one to create a mens group in my area for this very reason. By being a stand for those around us to be great, we get to live in greatness.

These are of course my take on earth father energies. I'd love to hear others. Perhaps you aren't a literal father and have a take on it. Maybe you are a grandfather who has reach the next level of fatherhood. Maybe you are a woman reading this and care to share with us your perspective. Whatever your view I'd love to hear it in the comments. Of course, keep in mind that I barely touch the topic and this is a great book to read yourself as you will most likely get something else out of it than I.

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Numinous, Masculine Sexuality, part 2 – Awakening my sacred masculine

Today's post is part 2 of my post on Numinous, Masculine Sexuality. These two posts share my journey through the 6th metaphor from the book The Hidden Spirituality of Men - Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine by Matthew Fox. In my last post I talked about how ancient religions ( and some non-western religions ) worshipped sexuality as sacred. I also discussed how western religions have brought shame into the forefront of sexuality in an attempt to control the sacred. Finally, the last post discussed the fact that sacred sexuality is not just about intercourse - but rather intercourse is just one aspect. In revisiting this chapter I found myself starting to learn to play the guitar and it has given me access to a sexual spirit that has been suppressed for some time now. The topics of today's journey through numinous, masculine sexuality are sperm, male infertility, sexual diversity learning from the gifts of homosexuality and wrapping it all up in sexuality as sacred.

Sperm

In the book, the author had asked a group of mostly men to write down an answer to the question, "What is Sperm?" He shared many of the responses he got and many of them were at or nearing poetic. As someone who had always been uncomfortable with anything sexual in nature it had been very easy for me to never even think about it. Well, in the honor of sharing my journey I am going to attempt to answer that question right here in this blog from my perspective. I only hope I can do it justice.

Why is it so hard to honor sperm? Is it because it has so many names that make us giggle or turn red? Is it because we are afraid of the awesome power that lies within? Sperm is a metaphor for possibility. Each sperm is the possibility of life, and not just any life. The possibility of a new life that we love more than we have ever loved before. I have 2 sons because of sperm. 1 came from planning and one came from a moment of passionate love but they are both a part of my life because of sperm. Of all the fluids that are worshipped in this world - blood, wine, holy water - this seems left out of the sacred mix. So even if it is only a moment before my shame rises again, I take this moment to honor distilled masculine sexuality in sperm.

[ad#Google Adsense] That was tough to write because I felt myself pulled separately by both my reverence and shame that I felt. This chapter, and specifically this section on sperm bring to mind one individual who seems to exude sacred masculine sexual energy more than anyone I can think of - Prince. He has many songs that are clearly about sexuality, including one called Cream. At the end of the movie Purple Rain he has a concert and the finale is him doing an obvious ejaculation from his guitar. Finally, at one point he changed his name to around a legal dispute with Warner Brothers and this is what he had to say about it:

I was born Prince and did not want to adopt another conventional name. The only acceptable replacement for my name, and my identity, was the Love Symbol, a symbol with no pronunciation, that is a representation of me and what my music is about. This symbol is present in my work over the years; it is a concept that has evolved from my frustration; it is who I am. It is my name.

To many the symbol seemed random, but to Prince it was the Love Symbol. Love is central to sacred sexuality and he has embodied it in his art.

Male Infertility

With all this admiration for sperm and its reproductive power the author was confronted by a member of the group that wrote about sperm. For this man the question brought pain because he was infertile. While I have been blessed with two beautiful boys he was unable to have any by his sperm due to that fact. But if you read his story you find out more. You find out about the way he was initially dismissed when having trouble getting his wife pregnant. You find out the research the two of them did to find out about their options. Their journey led them to choosing to have children by using a sperm donor. The mental and emotional power of sperm is strong in this story. Though this man's sperm were incapable of fulfilling their reproductive duty the spiritual aspect of them still led him to having children to whom he is a father. In fact the story goes deeper and it is worth the read.

It was interesting to notice how male infertility is so casually dismissed as if it takes no psychological or spiritual toll. When you compare this to our current (in)ability to honor sperm as we do the ovum it isn't hard to see why this is. Men want to be parents as well and any inability in this area forces a very rocky mental and spiritual path to be walked.

Continue reading... [ad#Books Banner]

Sexual Diversity and The Lover

I hate to copy too much from the book, so I will try to paraphrase the first paragraph of this section in the book. Scientifically speaking, sexual reproduction was the genesis of greater diversity of life on earth. After species started reproducing sexually you started to see different traits come out at a much greater rate. In present day we see this through not only physical attributes but also in the types of personalities we all have. If sex was an explosion of diversity why do we act like it should only look one way?

From style to position, from gender roles to gender preference, diversity is a part of sexuality and sexuality is a part of the sacred. One thing that this chapter mentions is that the sacred can not be held back and nature is proof of this in regards to libido. The animal kingdom ( this includes humans ) is pretty consistent in this diversity. I read an article a few weeks ago that talked about the mating rituals of bats that includes oral sex. In regards to homosexuality 464 other species have been observed with homosexual populations. Nature has so much to teach us about many sacred things, so what does it have to teach us about sexuality?

In regards to our acceptance of homosexuality as natural, humankind still has a ways to go but we are on the path. Some countries and states allow same sex marriages. While some recent votes in some states have disheartened me this chapter made me realize something. The very fact that there are votes to vote down means we are on the path right now. If you compare the current movement for gay and lesbian rights to the movements for the rights of women or of different races you'll see a similarity. It's not as if Martin Luther King, Jr. said, "I have a dream..." and everyone said ,"you know, you're right. I'm sorry. I've been treating you different all this time." No, instead they had to keep working to change people's minds through education. Just like today's relationship between religion and homophobia there are examples of people using their religion to support their racism. So for those warriors who are fighting this fight, be heartened. The path may be murky but we are moving forward along it. [ad#Google Adsense]

Honoring, and Learning from, the Gifts of Homosexuality

This section of the chapter was mind blowing and, to be honest, a lot easier to be present to than other sections. In a society that has had news stories about metrosexuals, guys who have typically homosexual traits ( style, tastes, a sense of culture ), it can be hard for some to admit that we have anything to learn from homosexuality. I find this is especially true with gay men who actually have quite a lot to offer their hetero-masculine brethren and neither side may realize it. Because out gay men have already had to do the work to feel comfortable with their own sexuality they can access more of their sacred energies.

For instance:

• Creativity. The style and tastes of gay men are not limited by anything that might seem feminine. In fact the divine feminine is an equal part of creativity as the sacred masculine.
• Being a bridge between men and women. The very fact that gay men can access both energies without shame allows them the ability see outside of normal gender roles that can get in the way of individuals being truly powerful.
• Humor. What is it about gay men that makes hetero men uncomfortable? It might be that they have so much fun with their sexuality. If they are out, they have gotten past the shame and can truly enjoy role playing with their partners.
• Spirituality. Before reading this section I didn't realize that homosexual men used to be the spiritual directors for the great chiefs of Native Americans. They were called berdache or winkte.

The whole concept of winkte makes me wonder if the scandals of homosexuality (with under age boys) in the catholic church comes out of this spiritual connection that has been warped by an attempt to control the sacred (sexuality). My tangent aside there was another statement about winkte that I found interesting. One native woman whose Uncle is homosexual talked about how it is unfortunate that native youth don't know their history and criticize gays. Not only because they don't know their own cultures true history but it also has young winkte not fulfilling their spiritual role in the community.

One last thing hetero men can learn from gay men is how to love other men. I've talked about sex a lot and people often collapse sex and love but they are distinct ( though love is a part of the sacred sexual ). The best definition of love I have ever heard is,"accepting someone for who they are and for who they are not." There are some great examples of non-romantic man to man love, sometimes referred to as a bromance. The example that best comes to mind for me is Turk and JD on the TV show Scrubs. The great thing about their love for each other is that the writers just have fun with it. Along the way a hetero guy like myself starts to feel jealous if he doesn't have a best friend like that in his life.

Sexuality as Sacred

Between last week's post and this I hope that you saw as I did that sexuality is more than just intercourse and erogenous zones. It is a sacred energy that we can tap into for great pleasure and joy in life. Sexuality can not be confined to a single thing because as a mystical energy it can not be confined. It will find a way out but could be distorted in the process. By embracing the sacred sensual we have an opportunity to enjoy life and that which is truly alive. By suppressing it we end up a little dead inside and dead sexual energy= necrophilia. [ad#Books Banner]

Next week's Wednesday Warrior post is a great follow up to sacred sexuality. The next metaphor is titled,"Our Cosmic And Animal Bodies." More posting without the net of comfort there. If you liked this post please subscribe to my RSS Feed and/or follow me on Twitter. If you only want to read my Wednesday Warrior posts subscribe to the Wednesday Warrior feed. Until next time, thanks for reading.

Numinous, Masculine Sexuality, part 1 - Awakening my sacred masculine

Welcome the first part of metaphor 6 on my journey through the book "The Hidden Spirituality of Men - Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine" by Matthew Fox. If this is your first time reading my blog you might want to at least read the initial post on the book. You can also check out other posts in the series. Beyond that, read on. Here it is, the metaphor on sexuality. This metaphor was the most confronting to start reading. I put it off both subconsciously and consciously for about 2 weeks. At the same time, masculine sexual energy is a major reason I started looking into the men's studies movement. As a father of two boys, I kept questioning whether or not I would know how to speak powerfully to them about sex when the time comes.

Being raised in an all (powerful) female household I really never had a male figure I trusted to discuss these things with and I was already ashamed about how other men treated women. Initially, the question of masculine sexuality pulled me on this journey through the sacred masculine and I was afraid of this metaphor the most ( my ego was definitely shaking in its boots ). [ad#Google Adsense] When I finally read the chapter, I breezed through it and got a lot of information. I felt much more comfortable and saw the bigger picture of the sacredness of sexuality. When I reread it before writing this article I noticed how much I missed. Realizing that my subconscious probably zoned out on the first pass, I made an effort to take in the information inside this book.

I feel I must say one thing before moving on. This article is about sexuality as it concerns the sacred masculine. It is meant as a serious spiritual discussion. Watch where you find yourself giggling as that is where you are probably missing out sacrament of sex. Read on if you are ready.

Masculine Sexuality, Numinous Sexuality

In order to best stay true to what I got from this metaphor I will be following the sections of the chapter and use those headings. One distinction is very important for this metaphor - the distinction between spirituality and religion in regards to sexuality. Long before the religions of today, people treated sex as a spiritual experience. Many current religions treat sex as a sin.

"Our Western institutional religious tradition has essentially repressed and distorted the sexual instinct and thereby created a variety of personal and social pathologies. In doing so it has also effectively removed sexuality from its religious foundations."

Also keep in mind that

"...for most people the experience of sex is more powerful than their experience of religion."

This must be because during sex we are making a strong connection to the sacred and during religious ceremonies we may be holding some of the spiritual energies back. [ad#Books Banner]

Ancient Sacred Metaphors of Sexuality

There are ancient temples that still exist that obviously worship the male phallus. Because they still exist people get a sense of the awe. In this space of awe one has the ability to experience joy and pleasure through intercourse and other forms of sex. What must it be like to worship masculine sexual energy without shame?

Sexuality and Shame:A Western Inheritance

I've written before how much of being a man can be summed up in one word, shame. When it comes to sex it is felt by the truckload. I've grown up in the Western world where sex is considered dirty ( and that being dirty is a bad thing ). While it is generally considered okay for men to want sex, only the hunt is really accepted. The act itself, the connection to ones partner and to the universe are not given their due. As such men's stories about sex are about quantity and/or domination rather than quality and connectedness. If a man does talk about the spirituality of sex people often don't listen or if they do they believe the man to be boasting about prowess. [ad#Google Adsense] Yes, having fun with sex, enjoying it is even worse in Western culture. Which brings up another issue, roleplaying. In western culture there is some of this that occurs, but even it gets perverted to the point that the roleplaying is not used for connectedness but to create more separation. A separation between the people involved and a separation from the full experience of it. Roleplaying isn't just about wearing costumes, though that can be part of it. Its about having fun with your partner and looking for new experiences together. Its important to switch roles occasionally. Switch who's on top and who's on bottom ( both physically and metaphorically ) to make sure both people get the full experience. Passion equals play, so to keep the spark going have some fun together.

The Many Names of Sexuality

I've used the word sexuality so many times that you may have thought I was only talking about sex. There are many other names used in the book and I would like to share a few that you may not be thinking of.

• Union
• Laughter
• Joy
• Surrender
• Healing
• The Sacred Masculine
• The Divine Feminine
• Hope
• Creativity
• Music

This list is less extensive than what is in the book. In the book they also add the point that you can most likely add more of your own. So as we discuss sexuality realize that we are discussing so much more than intercourse. [ad#Books Banner]

The Lover's Revelation

Did you know that the Bible devotes and entire book to praising sexual love as divine? I didn't but the author mentioned time and again that Song of Songs does just that. Despite my less than biblical path to spirituality, I'm intrigued to see what it says.

Religions around the world have spent some if not a lot of time discussing divinity of sexual love. Why? What do we get from it? As you look closely you see that we get more than we thought. There is the connected to another person, the connectedness to the universe. I've heard a comic describe how sex is weird because a man (who usually focuses on one thing) has to focus on many things at once and a woman (who usually splits focus between many things ) has to focus on one thing. This is funny because of the truth in it ( and he had much better delivery than my writing ). It shows that through sexual love we also gain perspective.

As one studies the power of numinous sexuality one also sees the importance of mutuality. Sexual energy is shared when used positively. This also lets us see a little of the shadow energies most often associated with (masculine) sexuality. The shadow energy of sexuality comes out as domination instead of mutual physical love. Some of this shadow energy comes because of the repression of sexuality in our culture. It is such a powerful part of our spirits that it will come out. That is why it is important to embrace what it truly is so that it can flow powerfully.

Intermission

These sacred masculine posts are growing quite long, and in order to give this one enough time I am breaking it up into two parts. Part two of Numinous Masculine Sexuality will cover sperm, male infertility, sexual diversity, what heterosexuals can learn from homesexuals and how to approach sexuality as sacred. Until next week, what sorts of thoughts did this article spark for you in the realm of sacred sexuality? Does any of this ring true for you or do you think I'm barking up the wrong tree? Please leave your comments below or send a private message through this blog's contact page. [ad#Google Adsense] If you liked this post please subscribe to my RSS Feed and/or follow me on Twitter. If you only want to read my Wednesday Warrior posts subscribe to the Wednesday Warrior feed. Until next time, thanks for reading.

Spiritual Warriors - Awakening my hidden masculine

This was by far the most exciting metaphor for me to read in The Hidden Spirituality of Men, before I even read it. As someone who has struggled with aggression in the past and learned to be passive instead this was something I needed to read. My image of a warrior was not a good one. I have repressed many of my warrior traits and here was a metaphor that spoke about it powerfully. There was some talk of the difference between a soldier and a warrior that intrigued me. [ad#Google Adsense]

The Spiritual Warrior

When talking about a spiritual warrior you need to keep in mind the context of the "Great Work." The work is not something that we have chosen but a task that we must take. It is the task of moving modern industrial civilization from its present devestating influence on the Earth to a more benign mode of presence. This work can take many forms, but one must keep it in mind when learning about true warrior energy.

What is a spiritual warrior and why is it important?

The spiritual warrior is the metaphor that helps to answer 2 questions that have come up so far on our journey - what to do with male aggression and what to do with competition. The spiritual warrior teaches us how to steer both into healthy directions. So how does aggression usually show up in our world? It shows up in war, conquest ( including business or sex ), passivity, selfish competition and more negative outlets of aggression. Competition was part of that list and too often it shows up as selfish competition in our world. Competition where I have to win and you must lose. Though these traits and actions are often associated with warriors they should not. The problem arises from the fact that too many people have collapsed the term warrior with that of a soldier.

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Warrior, soldier - what's the difference?

A soldier takes orders from other people while a warrior takes orders from the soul. You can see this represented in movies such as Dances With Wolves where at first he is a soldier following orders but he becomes a warrior fighting for what his soul knows is right. The same thing happens in real life when veterans go to war and come back home and march with their brothers against the war the themselves had fought in. The spiritual warrior also doesn't take orders from society when there is a "Great Work" that needs to be accomplished. Martin Luther King, Jr., Gandhi and Ralph Nader are examples of warrior spirits that take orders from their own souls instead of from society.

The warrior is in touch with his heart - the joy, the sadness, the expansiveness of it. The warrior, unlike the soldier, is a lover. The warrior is so much in touch with his heart that he can give it to the world. The warrior loves not only his nearest kin and mate but also the world and God. The warrior relates to God as a lover. This is different than the soldier who relates to God as Judge. This difference brings to mind a quote from the movie, The Man in The Iron Mask. In it D'Artagnan (Gabriel Byrne) tells King Louis XIV (Leonardo DiCaprio) about how Athos (John Malkovich) had taught him "Each time I draw my sword I should consider, not what I was killing but what I was allowing to live". I love that statement. In that statement lives the distinction between a soldier and a warrior.

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Sounds great, how does one become a warrior?

The warrior fight begins with first overcoming yourself and your own demons. Some demons seems small, like the limitations we put on ourselves when we say "I can't." Other demons are larger, such as pride that has us go to battle over namecalling or someone stepping on your shoe. Martial Arts and meditations are two great was to begin to overcome yourself and your own demons. These disciplines are great places to study the 8 principles of a warrior: inner peace, tranquility, love, power, strength, honor, majesty, respect. Turn each of these 8 principles both inward as well as outward. Some principles such as power, strength and majesty often get perverted when they are turned inward only. If you want power, strength and majesty for yourself but you don't give it to others it leads you down a spiral away from the true warrior and into its shadow energy.

This doesn't mean you won't slip on your warrior journey. A warrior is human after all and it is important for a warrior to be humble. It is this humility that is part of another important aspect of a warrior - being non-judgmental. A warrior knows that others don't win every internal battle because they themselves do not win every battle. Judgment comes from inexperience, not having experienced losses against personal demons. A warrior has experienced losses, because he has fought battles, and thus does not judge others. These experiences make the warrior humble.

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How do spiritual warriors relate to fear?

"In our tradition, we believe that fear is the door in the heart that lets evil spirits in. Thus all prayer is a strengthening of the heart to keep fear at bay."

-Buck Ghosthorse

Fear is built into our brains in order to keep us alive. Stay away from that ledge you might fall and die. That lion sounds hungry, it's best to stay away. These make sense on the level of physical survival. As our brains have developed fear has morphed beyond the death of our physical bodies and now shows up when our egos are threatened. It is the fear that comes up when our egos are threatened that gets in the way of our true selves. Our ego must die in order for our true selves to come out. Our ego is the biggest, baddest inner demon there is. It is always there and will never go away. For example, listening is a warriors art. In order to listen we must let go of the fear that our ego "who knows everything" will be destroyed if we listen to someone else (or to our true self). In order to truly listen we must give up the notion that we know everything and our ego fights us on that, but it is a battle we can easily win. The Kennedy quote on fear is an adaptation of the Buddha quote that sums it all up,

"There is nothing to fear. If there is anything at all to fear, fear only yourself!"

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How to become a warrior redux.

Warriorhood is a journey, not a destination. It is a journey that takes us on four different and intertwining paths. The positive path, the negative path, the creative path and the transformative path.

The positive path the celebration of life. The world is beautiful and the warrior is open to this beauty. Cynics focus on the lack of grace and generosity in the world, the warrior is thankful for all the examples in the world that he sees.

The negative path takes the warrior into the darkness so that he may see the light. He does this through solitude, facing internal demons and letting go of those demons. The warrior learns from this process who he is, is helps him be humble. the darkness also helps he on the positive path. After being through whatever hells the darkness may bring, the positive path can be enjoyed even more passionately.

The creative path, or rather creativity is the true weapon of a spiritual warrior. The very nature of the Great Work requires him to do something new, something he must create. Samurai warriors studied ikebana, a specialized form of flower arrangement as a practice to keep their weapon honed. A warrior is an artist who works for the people that they might live.

The transformative path is the path of self reflection. A true spiritual warrior is humble after all. The warrior is always checking to make sure what they are creating includes justice and compassion. Without this test, a warrior could easily tap into his shadow energy. The shadow energy could create something that looks like justice without compassion or compassion that gets nothing done. With both justice and compassion, real momentum can be made in the Great work. The way to the transformative path is linked closely with the creative and the negative paths. The warrior comes up with his great work, but then he must test it.  Inside these tests he ensures that it is truly a Great Work of justice and compassion. He must look and see if there is a darkness to his work and revisit the creative path as he hones the idea further.

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What is the shadow form of warrior energy?

Unfortunately there are many false prophets out there ( and inside ourselves ). They worry more about the destination and so they do not fully take the 4 paths of a warrior. Some give in to fear and let it guide them. Ultimately, what is missing is the Great Work - the TRUE Great Work. Remember, a Great Work is the task of moving modern industrial civilization from its present devastating influence on the Earth to a more benign mode of presence. Some works are big and seem grand but have they passed the test of justice and compassion? For instance, recently California's proposition 8 made it so that marriage in California is only between a man and a woman instead of between a man and a man or woman and a woman. In the most recent elections this big work to ensure marriage between is only between a man and a woman continued in other states with similar propositions. If we test this against justice, some might think it passes. However, when tested against compassion it fails miserably and thus is not a great work. If we look closer we can see that this work is guided by fear and fear is, as Buck Ghosthorse said, the door in the heart that lets evil spirits in. Despite this works religious core, it is not spiritual. But, warriors are out there making a difference using their creative energy. Just today I read an article about a man who is working on an initiative in California to ban divorce. He isn't doing it because he truly believes it should be banned, but rather as satire of the importance of government protecting the sanctity of marriage.

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Conclusion

So the warrior is an important part of the male psyche. I would say it isn't actually a metaphor but a true part of being a man ( and most likely of being human - though feminine energy might show up slightly differently ). Can you see the difference between the warrior and a soldier? Do you see the importance? I have mentioned a few well known warriors in this post, Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi and Ralph Nader. But there are many more out there. Who are the warriors you thought of as you read this? You might have thought of someone but discounted them because they won't be found in history books - if their work passes the test of compassion and justice is follows the description of a Great Work they most likely are a warrior. I'd love to hear who you see as a warrior or better yet when have you seen yourself as a warrior.

For myself, while rereading this chapter for the post I have seen the warrior show up internally, as it should at first. In my running I used it to finish a long run where mental blocks were keeping me from finishing. My creative side started playing music again. The positive path has had me enjoy music passionately for the first time in a long time. I like the warrior, it is good and powerful energy. It is for that reason that I have decided to make my men's studies posts on Wednesdays and call them my Wednesday Warrior posts. ( I also laughed at the idea of making a shirt that says ,"I'm a warrior" on the front and "...on Wednesdays" on the back )

Next we will take a look at the most difficult chapter/metaphor for me to be with the chapter on numinous sexuality.  That is the chapter that I made up all sorts of reasons, both consciously and unconsciously, to put off reading for a few weeks. But I read it, and I'm glad I did. Now is the time to reread it for next weeks Wednesday Warrior post. Until then I wish you a powerful journey.

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Awakening My Sacred Masculine - The Hunter Gatherer

The fourth metaphor to look into during my journey to awaken my sacred masculine and find the hidden spirituality of men is the Hunter Gatherer. Writing about this metaphor was tough for me because I didn't think I had anything to write. These personal journeys centered around men's studies never go like that. There is always something that comes up. I had to completely reread the chapter and be conscious of any time I read a section and have no idea what I read. Sometimes this happens because I'm distracted, but it also happens when I'm confronted by what it says. Sometimes I'm just still pondering a previous topic and wasn't yet ready to take in new information.  There is a ton to cover in this section now, so the format is different than other articles.

The Hunter Gatherer

As far as we can determine, almost all of human existence consists of humans being hunter gatherers. Only recently, historically speaking, have we changed to farming for sustenance. Even more recent is how much of our lives hide the fact that farming goes on at all.  We've move from being hunters and gatherers who must search to our food; to farmers, who are still connected to where our food comes from; to now having no idea where our food even comes from. The hunter gatherer metaphor isn't just about food though, it is about cultural difference. While it is easy to see what we have gained, there is quite a bit that we have lost.

Joy & Shame

The power of ancient tribal culture can be summed up in 2 words - joy and shame. These two things represent both, what we have lost and what we (unconsciously) carry with us from our cultural past. Both are hard wired into our masculine beings and acknowledgement of this fact is the path to understanding.  By acknowledging that shame, right or wrong, guides our lives powerfully and that enjoying ancient rituals (sometimes in new ways) is worthwhile we can make some powerful choices about who we will be. [ad#Google Adsense] Ancient rituals which center around drums, dancing and storytelling are quite easily pushed aside in civilized society. Drums are loud and annoy people, dancing makes you look like an idiot and stories need to be chopped down into bite size pieces because no one has the time to pay attention anymore. Drums are representative of rhythm. The first sound we hear is the sound of our mothers' heart, but then the noise of the world drowns out that beat. The noise of the world hasn't always been there and rhythm is our way of connecting with nature. We do this through music we love, through music we make and if we listen closely we might even hear the rhythms of life itself. Dancing is an extension of this connection. Using rhythm & dance we are connecting our cosmic bodies with our green man and mother earth. Ancient rituals of rhythm and dance were used, not only to create this connection but to tell stories.  Stories told in this way were used to pass on generational wisdom before the invention of writing.

The joy of listening is a lost art. My favorite movie - Strictly Ballroom - has a line, "Listen to the rhythm, don't be scared" that always hits home for me. This movie is especially about civilized dancing limiting a person's self expression - I highly recommend it. Listening to the world and people around us is probably the most powerful way for us to move forward as a species. How can we experience joy, though, if we feel shameful of this enjoyment?

Shame, I think that word pretty much wraps up the entirety being male. How constantly it seems to come up for me and as I read my mens' studies books, how often it comes up for others as well. Is it hard wired from our ancient heritage? In hunter gatherer societies when someone broke the laws of the tribe they weren't imprisoned, they were cast out. Without the protection and camaraderie of your fellow tribesmen life would be exceedingly tough, if you survived at all. This is how shame has become hard wired in our present day selves.

Shame is the experience of not belonging, secondary shame is the feeling of not belonging. In our present day culture it is so easy to evoke these feeling but we must be aware of the distinction between feeling and experiencing. It is minor, but it makes a big difference that will be clear as we discuss the shadow energies that show up with hunter gatherer energy in today's world. The distinction also shows up positive ways as well. One obvious, yet not very prevalent, example is in modern day spiritual warriors.

"...is it not true that authentic prophets risk shame? They too risk being expelled from the community, literally or figuratively..."

Hunter Gatherers today

All of this theory is great but how does it affect modern man? Where does it show up powerfully? What are the dangers to look out for? Hard wired tendencies can be used against us if we aren't paying attention.  So I'm going to share my thoughts on the breakdowns from the book.

The Hunt for a Mate

The hunt for a mate is ingrained in us very clearly. Take a look yourself, it is not hard to see.  The planning, the searching, the tactics, the stories of the one that got away - its all there. It is more than just the animalistic side of hunting though. There is also the creativity and observation of the hunt that comes into play. We must pay attention to our prospective mates in order to learn what works and what doesn't. Our creativity comes out in all the new things we try and ultimately in the person we create ourselves as to woo the other.

the lover is not content with superficial knowledge of the beloved, but strives for intimate discovery and even entering into the beloved -Thomas Aquinas

There is a whole metaphor on sexuality and a whole section, which I have yet to read, on sacred marriages of the masculine and feminine so we will most likely touch on this in later posts. [ad#Google Adsense]

The Quest for Scientific Understanding and Truth

Science is an art. It is inexact and precise at the same time. Science is a journey with no end, only markers along the way. This is a surprisingly spiritual focal point of modern hunter gatherer energy. That is, if we approach it as such. Science is about understanding and scientists are constantly hunting for better understanding the truths of our universe. They gather evidence of these truths through experimentation. What are we using science for? Are we solving the great mysteries and great problems of our time with science? Science allows us the ability, if we let it, to connect with father sky and our green man. It also has the ability for us to connect with the shadow energies that go along with many of these powerful metaphors. How will we, as men, use this hunting and gathering tool?

Journalism: The Hunt for the True Story

All I could think about when I read this section was (The Daily Show with) Jon Stewart. His constant gripe is with how the news is currently being covered. In many cases it isn't being covered anymore, it is being created through hype. Before news organizations realized they could make money on their news programs it was more about hunting the story to let people know what was happening. There are still people hunting the true story out there. The internet has given reporters of all levels the ability to distribute news to the masses. You do have to wade through the entertainment and opinion news that is so easy to get caught up in, but it is there. The biggest thing we can do when we listen to, watch or read the news is separate what happened from any story about what happened. The story always gets in the way of real news, but that story does bring in watchers, readers, listeners and that sells ad time/space. Please, even after you find a news source you trust, don't trust it blindly.

The Search for Spiritual Truth

The journey I am on and, if you read this far, you might be on too - is a search for spiritual truth. A friend of mine has an great quote on her facebook profile where it asks about her religious views:

gave up religion for spirituality

For me I've gone back and forth. I've looked at religions and many times I've been downright atheistic in my beliefs. Now I am sure of one thing - I don't know and there is no way I can for sure. That is why I seek what spiritual truths I can find from where ever I find them. I am a qualified skeptic about dogmatic religion and the spiritual world I sometimes find sort of hokey - but I am looking. I am looking, it is - at times - scary and that's okay. It takes something to be vulnerable in a spiritual sense.

Gathering Herbs, Seeking Cures

In many ways this is an extension of the quest for scientific understanding - but it is also something more. Many discussions with my wife lately have been about her health and how western medicine isn't working for her. Sure, it has been helpful in many ways but in some it just misses the mark. Seeking cures is more than treating symptoms. In fact it is something entirely different. Western medicine attempts to break diseases down into small parts and affect it that way. This works on certain things, but misses the mark on others. Alternative medicine, often eastern medicine approaches healing differently.  Looking at the body as a whole instead of just a sum of parts. That is why it is called holistic medicine. The cures we seek, though are not down one path or the other. We must look down both paths and possibly more to find the cures we seek. We must strive to understand the body even more to understand how to heal it. Our bodies are amazing machines, it's best not to underestimate them.

Putting Bread on the Table: Hunting for Work

I feel this one. Ever since my wife quit her paying job to start homeschooling our kids I have felt it. My wife is great with managing our money, which also has me feel it because I'm under no illusions that we have any more than we actually do. This is the modern form of hunter gatherer energy in its purest form. In tribal cultures you choices were given by how to provide for your family. However it touched on more in this section. In ancient tribal cultures ( and some modern tribal cultures ) a family you provided for wasn't nuclear it was extended. How do my daily efforts provide for my community? And why do I spend so much time away from my family/community working to provide for them? These questions may not have exact answers but they can be part of a journey towards fulfilling work. I remember when Ralph Nader was running for president in 2008 and he was looking for people to work on his campaign ( both paid and volunteers ) he talked about being able to take your conscience with you to work. I think that's important, lest we drain our spiritual energy.

Going deeper though, if we create societies where people have to take jobs that drain their spiritual energy, just to survive, we do them and our communities a disservice. People have a desire to be useful, they want to contribute. First and foremost they want to survive. That is why, if we are privileged to have opportunities others don't, making a difference for the types of jobs people have access to is a very worthy cause. In dire economic times, like the ones we are in now, this is even more important. It is easy to be seduced by corporations that pollute indiscriminately, have unfair labor practices, steal from the tax payers and more when they are promising so many paying jobs. Just remember, entrepreneurs with a stake in the community and a positive approach to running a business can create better, more fulfilling jobs at less spiritual, environmental and economic cost to the community. It's a tough road to walk in times like these, but we'd do much better with a strong foundation than with jobs built on despair.

Hunting, and Listening for, the Muse

I've been a performing artist, perhaps not a great one, for most of my life. The times when I have been most prolific, most successful I have been tapping into my hunter gatherer energies. As a musician, as a wrestler, as a performer in general and most recently as a magician you have to keep looking for inspiration. It is the times when I've stopped looking for inspiration that I have often quit or at the very least hit a lull. Some times you need to fake it 'til you make it. Inspiration isn't coming to you, it is out in the wild to be found.

About 4 years ago I retired from wrestling and shelved my creative performing talents for a while. About a year ago, I decided to get into the world of magic as my new performance outlet. It has been a bumpy ride. Magic isn't easy! Then again, neither is music or wrestling but I did those. I've contemplated shelving this idea but at the same time I forced myself to stay in the world of magic. I am now my magic club's sergeant at arms and I took over for someone who didn't show up to many meetings - this kept me working. Recently I realized my problem, I wasn't performing. I wasn't performing because I'm so used to performing on stage ( or in a ring ) and my magic isn't ready for that. Thanks to some videos and articles that I have been reading lately I realized that a magical performance can be as small as one trick performed for one person. I've been performing more and my excitement is growing. I'm hot on the trail of my muse.

Searching and Learning as an End in Itself

Turning our hunter gatherer energies inward has us hunt for wisdom. How do we gain this wisdom? If any of you have read this far, do you have a degree? If you have a degree are you using it at work? Are you using it in other facets of life? In what ways are you self taught? In what ways have you learned from others, but not in an educational environment? These are important questions to ask because education in western culture has been perverted. Skills used to be taught, not by lectures but by master craftsman passing down their crafts. New skills created by experimentation, failure and perseverance. As universities and colleges sprang up they added to our ability to learn by teaching at a different level. Then public education added even more, giving the people the ability to learn some of the basics in a structured way. At some point we started to rely on these new sources of learning too much. Colleges and Universities became the only way to show you had skill in many more fields than ever before - and for many leaving college skills were not tempered with wisdom that comes from experimentation and failure. As less families had the ability for at least one elder to stay at home and help guide learning, public education became more of a surrogate for their teaching. Many other things have happened and our education system ( at least in the US ) is a shambles. We've begun teaching to tests because they are easier to measure than teaching creativity and problem solving which will help the community as a whole later in life. Parents look at teachers less as partners and more as adversaries. When parents make the ultimate commitment and home school their children society questions their ability at every turn - only because it is different than the norm for today.

What's the answer? First, we need to recognize that wisdom isn't easily tested for on paper. It is better tested for in problem solving and decision making, choices that come up in real life. We also need to remember that children can learn - a lot - given the correct stimulus. They want to learn, it is actually fun. The joy of learning is a lifelong skill that we should encourage. That way, people can learn when they are ready, not remember when they are told to. I'm reminded of a quote that was in the book Seventeen Traditions by Ralph Nader. In it, Ralph comes home from school and his dad asks, "What did you learn in school today? Did you learn how to believe or did you learn how to think?". What's the difference? That distinction is the difference between education and wisdom.

Sports: Hunter-Gatherers At Play

This should be pure hunter gatherer energy, but it is so perverted. Some sports are even the act of hunting or fishing and the energy is most often the shadow form, not the true form of of this masculine energy. Sports have been perverted because competition has become more about winning then the competition itself. I've had many arguments with my wife that revolve around this fact. How can we raise 2 boys the way we want and involve them in competitive sports. Due to many of the positive experiences I have had and the spiritual journeys I have been on as an adult I see a possibility. Competition should not be about winning but should involve the whole hearted attempt to win within the confines of the rules/game. If all participants are doing their best and pushing themselves toward the goal of winning without the requirement to win then everybody gains from the experience. Skills increase, teams get more cohesive and once the competition is over you can honor your opponent. In actual hunting and fishing this honoring of your opponent is seen in many native american traditions of thanking the animal's spirit. For other sports, actually thanking the person is a good start.

There is always the shadow though. There is always the person whose identity is so wrapped up in winning that to lose is the ultimate blow to their ego. How do we raise young men to compete with these people and still get a positive experience from it? They will still reap the benefits of being pushed to their limits in order to win. What about cheating to win? When winning is more important than the sport itself what does it cost us as a culture? Keep this in mind when we discuss the hunter gatherer energy in business ( and really all areas ).

This rather large section of this chapter also discussed the nature of the spectator in modern sports. In some ways spectators hearken back to traditional costumes and dance of tribal hunter gatherer society. It is one safe way men get to enjoy costumes, dance and storytelling ( and don't I know as a wrestler :) ). The shadow energy of spectators is when people only consume sports ( and entertainment ) without creating or being a part of sport themselves. Modern culture makes it easy to watch sports all day and play coach from your couch. This energy feeds the other shadow energy that needs to win at any cost. Keep in mind, hunter gatherers did so to provide for their tribal community and were recognized for what they provided. What are we recognizing them our athletes for and what are they providing us?

The Role of the Automobile

I felt that this section really covered a specific issue that is covered by many of the others quite well. While it makes some good points, I think our love of the automobile has been taught to us by some pretty expensive commercials.

Hunting and Hiking

Hunting should be pure, but modern hunting rarely resembles ancient hunting in any way. Hunters find most of their food at the store and if they don't succeed in hunting it doesn't keep them from eating. Technology favors the hunter nowadays. I'm not going to say that hunting still isn't dangerous or difficult but things have gotten much easier from the days of hunter gathering tribes. For some though, hunting isn't about the kill. For some hunting and fishing are excuses for getting closer to nature in an acceptable activity. How many people do you know who spend whole days fishing, don't catch anything and come home happier than before. That is why the author connected hunting with hiking. Hiking is another way that one can get closer to nature, enjoy solitude or camaraderie as they choose and enjoy the sounds, smells, sights and more of the world around them.

Business

In the modern world business is more clearly hunter gatherer energy than sports and hunting combined ( technically they are anyway ). These people use the energy and skills of a hunter gatherer to find customers, partners, advertisers and they do make an impact in their community. Because of this we recognize them for what they provide the community. We must ask if it is alway justified. In shadow energy of business that is pure greed they have learned to use our hunter gatherer instincts against us - or rather for themselves. The word need no longer means necessity and instead means it will give you status in the community and thus is collapsed with want. It is not to say that the hunt for stuff we want does not have its place, but we must make sure it is not just an addiction to stuff. [ad#Google Adsense]

Addiction

Addiction shows off the pure form of hunter gatherer shadow energy. We have already discussed in sports how some people become addicted to winning. But addiction is almost reverse hunter gatherer energy. The addicted are actually hunted by their addictions. Try as they might they must constantly be on guard against their addiction which always seems to find them. Consider a drug addict who both hides their addiction ( at least at first ) and gets their fix despite the odds. Are they the hunter or the prey and who is the victor. Luckily, any addictions I might have both don't seem very strong or very destructive - but that doesn't give me much experience to write from. Also, I haven't had to deal with addictions from the people in my life so that is a bonus as well.

Hunters For Justice: Spiritual Warriors

I've made a couple references to Ralph Nader in this post. From my vantage point and during my lifetime he is a true hunter for justice. The quote from earlier about shame and spiritual warriors, "...is it not true that authentic prophets risk shame? They too risk being expelled from the community, literally or figuratively..." made me think of him the first and subsequent times I read it. Others might see Gandhi, Jesus, Malcolm X or Martin Luther King Jr. They were all mentioned in the book and rightly so. These people weren't looking to belong to the world as it was, they already belonged to the world as it should be. In that space they felt no shame in being who they had to be to make people look at the injustices around them.

Another important distinction is the distinction between a warrior and a soldier. That distinction will be made clearer as I discuss the next metaphor which is all about spiritual warriors. Warriors go into battle, while soldiers are sent. Warriors fight because they love and soldiers fight because they are told to. How can we raise more spiritual warriors? Perhaps this will become clear during the discussion of the next metaphor.

Conclusion

In rereading this metaphor and ensuring comprehension I have gained quite a bit from this metaphor. I gained solid wisdom to speak on topics I may have felt timid to talk about before. I've gained, most likely, my longest blog post to date. I'm not sure that's a good thing but I hope many people can glean some wisdom from the words I have written here. It is my hope that by writing as much as I have and asking as many questions as I have along the way I will get more input from others on the same journey as I.

If you have gotten this far, thanks for reading. I can be long winded at times.

Awakening My Sacred Masculine - Icarus and Daedalus

This post is about the 3rd metaphor and follow up to my post about The Hidden Spirituality of Men - Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine.  In that original post I said I would share my journey of reading this book.  This is another part of that journey. Icarus and Daedalus

The metaphor of Icarus and Daedalus is actually more of an anti-metaphor.  Instead of being a vision of what could be the story of Icarus and Daedalus is a lesson of what happens when sons don't  learn from a father's wisdom and a father doesn't pay enough attention to his son to understand him.  I'm simplifying of course but this lesson, this anti-metaphor is about the importance of generational wisdom.  The fathers have wisdom to teach the youth but they must also learn from the youth while letting the youth fly.

I find that learning from my young boys is easy, or rather watching them learn is.  It is amazing.  However, I often find myself stuck in my own world - my own issues - and I don't take the time to be with my kids and enjoy how they experience the world.  On the flip side, I am also someone's child as well.  I didn't see my father much growing up and I still don't see much of him.  I know that I have been on a search for some generational knowledge for a long time though.  My love of the French language and culture comes from the bit of my heritage that is easy to see - a French last name.  However there is another area of heritage from my father's side that I don't know much about.  It is the part of me that is a 1/4 native.

This metaphor actually holds a little bit of pain for me.  On the one side, I don't really know much about my heritage from my father's side.  I've dug a few things up here and there but my dad isn't much of a talker.  On the other side I'm afraid I'm becoming a non-talker for my sons as well.  When I come home from work I usually need a good amount of depressurizing before I can really focus on the family. I know from some of my other men's studies journeys that I am not alone in this though. In fact, that is probably why this metaphor came up as an anti-metaphor lesson.  It is easy to be Daedalus, but what are we going to do to give our Icarus the means to fly without melting his wings and falling into the sea.

I have had some small successes.  There have been some times since reading this chapter where I was aware enough to consciously choose to be with my kids and have a good time.  The other day my son had a birthday and one thing he got was a lego set.  He's had the the larger versions of lego in the past but this was his first actual lego set.  He was excited and started to work on them by himself but he asked me if I would help him.  I  told him, "maybe in a few minutes" then went downstairs.  I thought about how I liked legos when I was a kid but was never any good at them.  I knew I could do much better now and that the reason I wasn't that great growing up was I didn't have anyone helping me learn how to use them.  So I went upstairs and played lego with my son.  We had fun and he did a great job following the directions with only a little assistance from dear old dad.  I was very proud of him.

He has since kept going back to the lego set to build other things when he wants to do something by himself and he is very patient with them.  Anyone who has a 6 year old knows that having patience with anything is a big deal.  This metaphor may have some spiritual pain associated with it but it may also have one of the largest payoffs.

Awakening my sacred masculine - a powerful dream.

I've always approached my study of masculinity as a journey.  Many visions occur to me every time I read a men's studies book.  Some are dark and others are mysterious.  Either way these visions are powerful and often come in a dream.  Reading "The Hidden Spirituality of Men – Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine" has been no different.  Last night I had a dream that I knew was part of my journey.

The dream and the conclusions I come to are related to chapters I have not discussed yet.  I will try to share enough to explain the references.

The following dream actually came on a night when I fell asleep attempting to connect with "The Blue Man" metaphor described in the book. The dream is simple - I'm in charge of an alternative school of some sort that is being shut down by someone who has sent in soldiers to apprehend me. At this point I have the thought that if I can just get in a room and close the door they won't be able to get to me. I make my way down the hall towards my office. Finally, I reached my office and closed the door. Feeling safe from the soldiers, I look out the window. All the parents and teachers are standing outside in a group. They are standing in support of the school and me. They may be singing but I don't really hear anything. At this point my wife asks me the question,"Why are they shutting down the school?" My answer was this,"because Michael Jackson is running the music department and my second in command/right hand man is a woman or maybe I should say my right hand woman is a man." (I was trying to say my second is command was a gay man).

I don't remember anything else after that. When I woke up I just knew it was an important dream. I started wondering if I needed to open up some type of school.

After my run this morning I had a chance to discuss the dream with my wife and as I did many things became clear.  This dream did not say I needed to run a school but it was full of metaphors directly related to chapters of the book I had recently read.  First, the soldiers.  There is a distinction in the chapter on Spiritual Warriors between soldiers and warriors.  Soldiers do what they are ordered to do and warriors are instead guided by their values and their hearts.  The fact that soldiers were doing what they were ordered to do but did not have the heart to break through a simple door is not suprising.  Then there is group of parents and teachers who were standing up for me and the school.  This is my community, who are a stand for me to succeed in running my school.  My school is men's studies and Daryl Joseph Ducharme studies for that matter.  Seeing my blue man, I was studying the difference I could create in the world.

Then we come to the reason's anyone would want to shut such an important school down.  First there is having Michael Jackson as the musical director.  One chapter on the body began to discuss chakras.  The first chakra, located in the tailbone ( called the sacrum which literally means sacred bone ) is about vibration.  In discussing this chakra the sub chakras in the knees and the feet were discussed.  This brought up the importance of dance in connecting with Gaia.  So many religions throughout time relate dance with the sacred.  For my generation there was none more recognized for dance than Michael.  In fact, he was in my mind throughout the discussion about dance.  What about my second in command they didn't like because he was gay?  That came directly from the chapter on numinous sexuality.  In the middle section of this long chapter the discussion revolved around the spiritual connections that homosexuals tend to have.  In fact, many native tribes revered homesexuals as spiritual leaders.  While I have never considered myself homophobic, I realized there was a part of me that was.  It was the part that decides I didn't want to do something because maybe I didn't think it was masculine enough.  By cutting myself off from these experiences I cut myself off from the sacred and the spiritual essence of my masculinity.  Well no more.  Now I will allow myself to have experiences that will have me live life.

This dream was an awesome experience.  In the past, I have had dreams related to whatever ontological journey I was currently undergoing.  Almost always they have had a very dark nature to them.  This dream, while it had a dark nature, gave me more hope than any of the dreams I have had in the past.  It inspired me.  As I delve into the chapters that this dream touched on I will discuss these references even more.  I had to get the dream down while I still remembered it.

Awakening my sacred masculine - Father Sky

This post is my first follow up to my post about The Hidden Spirituality of Men - Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine.  In that previous post I said I would share my journey of reading this book.  This is part of that journey. The book itself is split up into 2 parts.  The first part, Ten Archetypes of Authentic Masculinity, covers the 10 metaphors alluded to in the book's title.  As I read this part of the book I will be making a posts related to each metaphor.  These posts won't be reviews of the chapters as much as they will be my own personal visions and conclusions gained from reading the metaphors.  At this time I have already read the sections on the first 5 metaphors so I may relate to some of the other metaphors.  This is expected, as these metaphors of masculinity are strongly linked.

Father Sky: The Cosmos Lives!

Father Sky is the partner of Mother Earth.  Religions have often placed the sky ( or heavens ) as the home to the gods.  Father sky is the air we breathe and the vacuum of space that is the universe beyond our planet's atmosphere.  Father sky is an obvious, but in modern times elusive, spiritual metaphor.

This first chapter didn't call to me as much from just reading it.  There was one suggested made in the chapter that I took, and that was to take a look at the Worldwide Telescope by Microsoft Research. This website has an tool ( both online and downloadable ) that combines images and data from telescopes around the world to give you an amazing view of space.  I spent a good chunk of time just looking around at all the different heavenly bodies available to me through this tool.

After using the worldwide telescope, I had a greater connection to father sky in the rest of my daily lives.  I recently started a running program, called Couch to 5K (C25K) out of both a desire to run and have a greater connection the The Green Man ( the 2nd metaphor ).  On my first run, I got connected more with my green man but I feel that I could finally see father sky.  I run in the mornings and the moon was still in the sky.  Instead of running with my head down, my head was up and I was aware of all the trees which reach up to connect the earth to the sky and the birds as they soar.  As I type this, I think I will pay more attention to my breathing while running as well.  After all, father sky represents all that is in the sky including the air.

This chapter also reminded me of something I remember seeing in the past.  I remember that a native tribe in Washington had been given the right to punish a teen through their own traditions.  This meant putting him, alone, on a small island for a length of time.  One of the elders was talking to him about praying.  He told him not to bow down and avert his eyes from the spirits above, instead he should look up and open his arms to father sky so that he may be connected to him.

The first metaphor, by itself did not make as big of an impression on me as some of the others already have.  However, in connecting with father sky I have gained connections that I have not had in a long time.  I once again look at the sky with awe.  The stars and the planets, the clouds and wind are all a part of me again.  In a world that tries to keep us grounded it is important to stay connected with the stars.

The next metaphor is The Green Man.  As I have already read that chapter I will be writing that one soon.  Until then, what does father sky mean to you and/or the men in your life?